My Baby, My Child

Week 5

2008-11-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

Pregnancy symptoms start this week... if not already started. And if you're like most women, you'll be experiencing nausea, fatigue, the discomfort of sore breasts, and a need to urinate more often. Worry not, all are normal. Annoying, yes, but the good thing is that they won't last forever. Some women also get headaches in the first trimester of pregnancy. Although most symptoms are normal and you shouldn’t be alarm, there are also some pregnancy symptoms that you should never ignore. If you experience any of the danger signs of early pregnancy seek medical help immediately.

Also it is extremely crucial to eat well at every stage of pregnancy so that your baby gets all the nutrients she needs in order to grow. Small regular meals and regular drinks can help to prevent indigestion and to combat nausea and fatigue. It helps to eat a wide variety of foods, particularly if you are vegetarian.

Your baby:

You may not look pregnant at this point but inside of you, your embryo's heart, no bigger than a poppy seed, has already begun to beat and pump blood. The heart is dividing into chambers and will find a more regular rhythm soon. The embryo itself is about a quarter of an inch/ half a centimeter long and looks more like a tadpole than a human. It undergoes a growth spurt this week.

Major organs, including the kidneys and liver, begin to grow. The neural tube, which connects the brain and spinal cord, will close this week. The embryo's upper and lower limb buds begin to sprout. These will later form your baby's arms and legs. The intestines are developing and the appendix is in place.

Below the opening that will later form your baby's mouth, small folds exist where the neck and the lower jaw eventually develop. As early as this week, facial features are already forming. Nostrils are becoming distinct and the earliest version of the eyes' retinas are forming. Find out how much folic acid you need.

Week 4

2008-10-30T23:32:00.000-07:00

If this pregnancy wasn’t planned, this may be around the time that you might start wondering if you’re pregnant. This is the time when you should be avoiding all medications unless you've checked with your caregiver about their safety during pregnancy. Some women notice a metallic taste in their mouths about now, no one knows the reason for this, but researchers suspect that it has to do with the change in hormone levels.

As weird as it may sounds, this week would be the week you are encourage to start an exercise routine. Exercise will help your body to develop muscle tone, strength and manage those weight that you’ll be putting on. It also helps you during labour and makes it easier for your body to get back in shape after that. Yoga is good too.

Your baby:

Although you are as yet unaware that you are pregnant, your baby is already undergoing great changes. The fertilized egg is now a quickly growing ball of cells called a blastocyst. It is embedded more deeply in the uterine wall and the amniotic cavity is being formed. The group of cells that will make up the placenta is being organized and circulatory networks containing maternal blood are being formed.

Three layers of cells are sorting themselves out within the blastocyst. The ectoderm will form the nervous system, hair and skin of your baby. The endoderm will become the lining of the gastrointestinal tract, and various organs like the thyroid, liver and pancreas. Finally the mesoderm will develop into the skeleton, connective tissues, blood systems, urogenital system and most of the muscles.

Week 3

2008-10-23T03:55:00.000-07:00

This week you will excrete higher levels of pheromones at this time, making you even more sexually attractive than usual. Have fun! Also, ovulation occurs during the course of this week. One of your ovaries has ripened and released an egg (ovum). It is swept up by the bell shaped end of the fallopian tube and begins its journey toward the uterus.

During intercourse, your partner will ejaculate anywhere from 140 to 350 million sperm. If the conditions are just right with your cervical fluid, some of those sperm can live up to 5 days. However, only about 200 sperm will actually make it through the uterus and into the correct fallopian tube eventually encountering your ovum. And then, sometime between 12 and 24 hours after you ovulate, only one, or in some cases of twins, two of the sperm will have enough strength left after they reach the egg in order to break through the outer layers of the ovum and complete conception.

And… Voila! You are pregnant!

Your progesterone levels will increase this week causing the lining of the uterus to build up its supply of glycogen, arterial blood, secretory glands, amino acids and water. Those higher levels of progesterone also have a calming effect on the uterus, making it less contractible, thereby stopping your menstrual period and allowing the pregnancy to continue. This is why progesterone is often called the hormone of pregnancy.

The fertilized egg, will spend the next 3 to 7 days traveling down the fallopian tube to the uterus. When it arrives, it will float freely within the uterus for another few days before it implants in the wall of the uterus. You may experience a little bloody spotting at the time of this implantation.

Week 2

2008-10-23T03:54:00.000-07:00

Your last period is finished and now your uterus is building a new layer of endometrium to cushion and nourish your soon to be conceived baby. Interestingly, deep within the uterine walls circular groups of lymphoid aggregates or immune system cells are beginning to develop.

One of your ovaries is growing and ripening an egg, preparing for ovulation. You will experience a rise in your estrogen levels accompanying ovulation making you more receptive to others. Many women find they are at their peak level of energy and creativity during this week of their cycle.

Week 1

2008-10-23T03:53:00.000-07:00

You started your period on the first day of this week. It will be your last period for at least the next nine or ten months. Some women, especially those who choose to breastfeed exclusively, may not have another period for a year and a half!

It seems odd to begin counting the weeks of your pregnancy with your last menstrual period, however, most women are not conscious of the day they ovulate, much less the day they conceive their baby. Since most can remember the day their period started, it makes a very clear starting point for determining the due date for your upcoming birth.

Remember that your due date is just an estimate! The average pregnancy last 40 weeks. Most women deliver their babies between 38 and 40 weeks from the first day of their last period.

Oh, by the way, if you are hoping or planning to become pregnant this is the time to begin improving your diet and adding vitamin supplements such as folic acid and iron.

Help with Swelling Problem During Pregnancy

2008-10-19T00:43:00.000-07:00

Swelling or scientifically known as Edema is a common problem during pregnancy especially those who have reached the third trimester. Your blood chemistry is experiencing some changes therefore causing some fluid to go into your tissue. Besides, your uterus that is obviously growing by the day puts pressure on your pelvic veins and your vena cava which is the large vein on the right side of the body that carries blood from your lower limbs back to the heart. This kind of pressure slowing the return of blood from your legs, causing it to pool, which forces fluid from your veins into the tissues of your feet and ankles.

As weird as it may sound, the best thing you can do to combat swelling is to drink more water. You may be thinking, wait a minute, if the cause of my swelling is from excess fluid than why should I drink more of it. Wouldn’t it make me look like a balloon instead? Well, no. In truth, the more water you drink the less water your body will hold on to.

Don’t forget to put your feet up whenever you can. And avoid crossing your legs or ankles whenever you sit. That way, you could help keeping pressure from your legs and making it easier for blood to move around. Whenever you lie down, it helps if you lie on your left side to keep pressure off the vena cava as it is on the right side.

You might also consider wearing some support stockings during your pregnancy. These will not only help combat swelling, but may help prevent or minimize the effects of varicose veins later in pregnancy. Most medical care suppliers carry support hosiery that works well for women during pregnancy.

Avoid socks or stockings that are tight around the ankles. Also, find yourself a pair of comfortable shoes to accommodate the swelling.

Pregnancy is not an excuse to be lazy. In fact, you should exercise regularly, be it walking, swimming, or riding an exercise bike. Or you could even take up water aerobics class, immersion in water may temporarily help reduce swelling, particularly if the water level is up near your shoulders. And it’s fun!

Don’t let swelling bring your mood down or making you feel miserable. Just keep in mind that this is just temporary. Once you give birth, the swelling will disappear quickly. So, chin up, soldier. You’ll be fine.

Baby Proofing Your Home

2008-10-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

Once your baby starts crawling around, one of your greatest concerns and responsibilities is to make sure your home is safe. There will be so much to think of and at times you might overlook certain things. So, in order to make sure that doesn’t happen, it would be my pleasure to list down some of the most raised questions about baby proofing your home.

What is the best way to approach baby-proofing our home?

The very best way to detect danger is by seeing your home from the eyes of a child. You could get down on your hands and knees and crawl around your home. This will enable you to see hazards you might not have recognized at your full height. Are electrical outlets in baby’s reach or are there electric cords hanging down that your baby can pull on or get tangled in? Does your furniture have sharp corners? Are there precious items at your baby’s level that should be put up out of reach?

What is the most hazardous situation for my baby?

Any situation that places your baby in harm’s way is the worst situation for your baby. The most hazardous situation for your baby is choking or anything that might cause him to stop breathing. The most hazardous situation for you baby is one that caused an injury that could have been prevented.

What are some things I need to consider when I am baby-proofing our home?

There are many things to consider. Your baby is a quick mover so it is never really safe to leave him unattended if at all possible. Consider putting up all valuables and breakable items out of reach of your baby’s. Anything that is small enough to fit in his mouth should be removed. If in doubt as to whether any one item is small enough to fit in your baby’s mouth and pose a choking hazard take an empty toilet paper roll. If it fits inside the tube it go in his mouth and possibly harm him.

Why do I need baby safety gates?

Baby safety gates can be placed in doorways or at the top and bottom of staircases. The gates can prevent your baby from getting into the kitchen or bathroom. They can also prevent your baby from tumbling down the stairs or climbing the stairs and falling. The mesh or the holes in the gate should not be large enough for your baby to put his toes through to climb the gate. Gates now are being made to operate hands-free or one handed. There are gates being made with the bars going vertical instead of horizontal reducing the chances of your baby being able to climb the gate.

What are electric outlet covers or locks?

Electric outlet covers look like plastic plugs when they are inserted and prevents your baby from sticking his fingers or something else in the outlet and getting a serious shock. Electric outlet lock plates can replace typical outlets and in order to insert anything into the outlet the plug has to be inserted and turned.

It was suggested to me that I have motion alarms on our doors and windows, why would I need them?

Some kids are very active and able to do things you would not ever think about Children have been known to open windows and fall through screens and become seriously injured. There are many news stories where toddlers have gotten up in the night and oblivious to their parents opened the door and went outside. Some are found wandering around and others are not so lucky. Some windows now come with a mechanism to prevent the window from being opened more than an inch or two. The alarms will alert you to the door opening and you can intervene before something tragic happens. Besides, it will also be very useful to keep intruders away.

What kind of baby-proofing products are available?

There all kinds of baby products available and most are reasonably priced. There are motion sensors, corner cushions for sharp corners on furniture. There are electric outlet covers, cabinet and drawer locks of different types and cord retractors for window blinds.

Is there anything available to protect my baby from getting in between banister posts?

There is netting available that can be attached with screws that will prevent your baby from getting between the banister posts. This product is similar to the deck netting available for outdoor decks.

How do I baby proof my nursery?

You can baby proof your nursery by keeping your baby’s crib away from windows and blinds cords. Put outlet protectors on all outlets. Make certain to dress your baby in sleepers rather than using blankets. When your baby begins sitting up place the mattress in the lowest position. Do not put stuffed animals or pillows in the crib with your little one, they could nestle up to them and suffocate.

How do I baby proof my kitchen?

Put all cleaners or chemicals up out of reach of your baby. Make sure all drawers and cabinet doors. While cooking put all pot handles toward the rear of the stove. Do not allow electric cords to hang over counters where your baby can pull on them. Better still, if possible unless you are feeding your baby keep him out of the kitchen.

How do I baby proof my car?

It’s easy actually. You can baby proof your car by making sure the car seat your baby will ride in is installed correctly and that it is the correct one for your baby. Remove all loose items that could become missiles in a crash or quick stop, and place them in the trunk. And, drive safely!

Now that you’ve read all the questions and answers, I hope it could provide you with some ideas and tips on how to provide a safe and sound home for your baby. Remember, it is better for you to be safe than sorry.

How to Ease Morning Sickness During Pregnancy

2008-10-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

Some pregnant women may feel fine, but not everybody is quite that fortunate. Some even suffers this sickness not only in the morning, but the whole day. This could be very depressing and making you feel miserable. Worry not, because morning sickness is not without cure. Well, at least there are some ways that could help you to ease this problem.

Control your blood sugar level
Alleviate morning sickness by keeping your blood sugar level stable at all time. You should eat around four or six meals a day to keep from having an empty stomach. Obviously, sleeping is a major problem when you are trying to regulate your blood sugar. You could try to eat without getting out of bed. Take only small bites. Try to eat a little bit and then wait a while before standing up. Give the food some time to make it into your system. Also, eat snacks that is high in protein and complex carbohydrates before going to bed at night.

Watch what you eat
Certain foods may trigger morning sickness. Avoid foods that will spike your blood sugar level. Foods such as processed sugars and white flour can cause morning sickness. Whole grain foods and protein are a good alternative as they are less likely to cause nausea.

Be careful from drinking too much water
Although Doctors will tell you repeatedly to drink plenty of water, it can make morning sickness worse. They are trying to ensure that dehydration doesn’t become a problem. Try some alternatives to water. Smoothies with a little plain yogurt with fruit mixed in could help wonderfully. Or you can try mixing water with a little lime or lemon. You can even try tea be it cold or hot, very watered down. Fruits such as melons can help with morning sickness. Regardless of your preference, it is extremely important to stay hydrated. If water is exacerbating morning sickness pregnancy, you do need alternatives.

Smells can trigger morning sickness pregnancy
Odors are one of the reasons that always cause morning sickness or even nausea feeling throughout the day. Therefore, try to stay away from any strong smells. Cook odor-neutral foods – no garlic, onions, or oily fish. Run from people that have odor problems. They can make your morning sickness pregnancy worse.

Get a toothpaste that suits you
Brush your teeth with a toothpaste that does not increase the queasiness and rinse the mouth with a good rinser after each bout of vomiting, as well as after each meal. Not only will this keep the mouth fresh and reduce nausea, it will also decrease the risk of damage to teeth and gums that can occur when bacteria starts working on the regurgitated material in the mouth.

Positive Thinking
You can ease morning sickness pregnancy by focusing on positive things. Remember, while your face is in the toilet, you are growing another person inside you. This is one of the most wonderful times in your life, and the morning sickness pregnancy will not last forever. In a few months, a beautiful baby will come out and your life will be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine. Read baby name books, look at pregnancy clothes, and try to get yourself excited that you are about to have one of life’s greatest little gifts. It will also help if you get enough sleep and relaxation.

Sex During Pregnancy

2008-10-06T18:01:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the things that constantly raised questions regarding sex during pregnancy. I know, some of us are a bit embarrassed to ask, so worry not, here are some of the answers…

Obviously sex during pregnancy won’t be the same since now that you’re pregnant. You may wonder whether or not you should be doing it at all, or whether it will hurt, or if it will harm your unborn baby…etc.

Let’s start with whether sex is going to harm your baby… The answer is no, assuming you’re going through a normal pregnancy. Your baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid in a membrane (the amniotic sac), inside your uterus or in other word, a womb. This protects your baby and creates a completely safe environment for him.

The cervix, which is the lower part of your uterus, is sealed with a thick mucus plug. If your amniotic fluid is leaking then your baby is no longer protected from external infection and so you should abstain from sex.

Your GP might also advise against sex if you have an incompetent cervix or placenta praevia. An incompetent cervix starts to open before the baby is ready to be born and placenta praevia is where your placenta is low lying – completely or partly covering your cervical opening.

Incompetent cervix is rare and can be treated with internal stitches while placenta praevia often corrects itself before birth.

How about oral sex, you may ask. Is it safe? The answer is yes, and it’s often a great alternative if you’re not up to chandelier-swinging sex. Just be sure to tell him not to blow inside you as this could cause an air embolism, which could be fatal to both you and your baby. Keep in mind that pregnancy hormones can also increase vaginal secretions and your partner might find they also smell and taste stronger than usual.

My sex drive is all over the place, is this normal? The answer is, totally. Your libido is governed by your emotional state and hormones, so it’s natural to feel completely sexy one day and want to avoid it at all costs the next. There are a number of pregnancy niggles which may put you off in the first trimester, such as nausea, tiredness and sore boobs.

Towards the end your size is normally an inhibiting factor, and you maybe preoccupied with the excitement of meeting your new arrival.

What if I bled after having sex. Should I be worried? Slight bleeding after sex is quite common and is usually caused by harmless erosions on the cervix which can be easily treated after the birth if necessary. The blood may be brownish or red and should stop within a few hours, but mention it to your midwife at your next visit, who might tell you to abstain from sex for a while so it has a chance to heal.

Why has my partner gone off sex now I’m pregnant? This one is a bit tricky. Men view pregnant bodies in different ways. Your partner may see your new curves as the ultimate expression of fertility and as a result find you very sexy. Plus he may feel even closer to you now you’re carrying his child and want to express this sexually.

Some men may see their partner’s pregnant body as purely functional
(doing the job of growing a baby) and keep this idea separate in their minds from anything sexual. Talk to each other about how you feel and give lots of reassurance and time to adjust to your new sex life.

My vagina is feeling swollen and sensitive. Is something wrong? Worry not, this is perfectly normal. The swelling and sensitivity is a result of your increased blood flow, which increases by 50 per cent and by the end of your pregnancy, one-fifth of your blood supply is being received by your uterus. Swelling occurs when your growing uterus interferes with the circulation of blood from the legs and pelvic area to the heart.

Is it safe to carry on using sex toys? Perfectly safe, as long as you make sure they are thoroughly cleaned between uses as your immune system is slightly suppressed during pregnancy making you more susceptible to vaginal infections. You may also find that you need to adjust the depth of penetration as your pregnancy progresses, to avoid brushing your cervix.

I seem to be more lubricated during sex, is this normal? Yes, completely. It is also normal to find your vagina dryer than usual too. It’s all a result of increased levels of oestrogen which affects the amount of lubrication produced. To help things along, try a lubricant such as KY Jelly.

Can having an orgasm harm my baby? On the contrary, they are actually good for both you and your baby. Your baby is oblivious to you having sex or an orgasm, though he will experience the rush of happy hormones. He’ll also be soothed by the gentle contractions of your uterus. Some women even experience their first multiple orgasms during pregnant sex as raised hormone levels may make it easier for you to climax.

Why do I get stomach cramps after sex? All women experience uterine contractions when they orgasm, but because your uterus is enlarged when you’re pregnant you’re likely to feel it more. Semen is responsible for making your uterus contract as it contains prostaglandins, which send chemical signals to your uterus.

These contractions won’t cause a pre-term labour (before 37 weeks) if you are having a normal pregnancy and are not too close to your due date. To be on the safe side call your GP or midwife if the cramping lasts longer than half an hour.

However, if you have a history of pre-term labours, or are carrying more than one baby your GP may advise you to avoid sex for some or all of your pregnancy.

Is having sex later on in my pregnancy safe? In theory, if you are having a problem-free pregnancy you can have sex right up until your waters break. After that point your baby is no longer protected from infection. In reality though, penetration can become quite uncomfortable due to your size, as well the fact the cervix softens and the baby’s head engages.

Can sex kick-start an overdue labour? Because of the prostaglandins present in semen, having sex may bring on labour, but this will only happen if your body is ready to give birth. Still, most women find sex uncomfortable in the later stages of pregnancy but, if you can manage it, hey, go for it!

How Much Weight Gain is Good During Your Pregnancy?

2008-09-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

A woman’s body is designed to provide a safe and comfortable home for a baby to grow and live for nine months. Therefore, when you’re pregnant, your body will go through changes, by all means, expanding and gaining weight. Yeah, we all know that.

However, there are some women out there that are still freaking out over these changes especially the additional weight gain. Don’t worry dear mother’s to be, it’s only healthy for you to gain weight. Thing is, you shouldn’t freak out if you gain weight during your pregnancy, instead, you should be worry if you don’t.

Ok, how much weight gain is healthy, though? Frankly, there is no real answer to that. Each woman is not the same and has different needs for their body. However, most physicians will recommend the following weight gain:

If you are normal weight before getting pregnant you should expect to gain between 25 and 35 pounds throughout your pregnancy.

If you are underweight prior to pregnancy you will need to gain more weight, typically between 28 and 40 pounds during your pregnancy. Your doctor or gynecologist will be able to provide you with more specific guidelines.

If you are overweight when you become pregnant you will only need to gain between 15 and 25 pounds during your pregnancy.

Keep in mind that if you are carrying multiples, by all means, twins or more you will typically be asked to gain even more weight, 45 pounds or more, depending on how many babies you are carrying.

During your pregnancy, it is a big no-no for you to be on diet, meaning cutting back on food in order to lose weight. But that doesn’t mean you should eat everything on sight. Just keep in mind to eat healthy for both you and your baby. Get enough nutrients and don’t forget to lead a healthy lifestyle. Oh, and don’t forget to stay away from smoke, drugs, and alcohol!

Exercises You Can Do During Pregnancy for a Healthy Heart

2008-09-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

As we all know, one of the 'side effect' of being pregnant is weight gain. It's a necessary change for you and your baby. However, being pregnant doesn’t mean that your health and figure has to suffer permanent damage. You can gain weight in a healthy fashion while doing some very easy and safe heart healthy pregnancy exercise routines.

One of the simplest and most effective pregnancy exercises you can do is walking. Not only is walking one of the best cardiovascular exercises, it is also one of the safest pregnancy exercises you can engage in. Walking is one of the few pregnancy exercises that you can do for the complete duration of your pregnancy.

Another extremely beneficial heart healthy pregnancy exercise is swimming. Countless doctors and pregnant women have attested to the wonderful benefits of swimming during pregnancy. A weekly pregnancy exercise routine of swimming gives both the arms and legs a great workout while promoting cardiovascular health. Because of the nature of being subdued in water, swimming will also remind expectant mothers what it felt like before the pounds were added on. This is definitely a welcome change every now and then.

The third pregnancy exercise routine you can start doing to keep your body healthy is enrolling in an aerobics class. Many fitness centers and community centers offer low impact aerobics classes for pregnant women. One of the nicer benefits of this pregnancy exercise is that it is done in the company of other pregnant women under the watchful eye of a professional aerobics instructor. This means you are going to get a safe workout catered to the special needs of pregnancy.

Weight training is also a very beneficial pregnancy routine to keep your body healthy. Although you must only use very light weights when engaging in this pregnancy exercise, weight training is an excellent way of toning your body and increasing muscular strength.

The last heart healthy pregnancy exercise you can do to stay fit is Pilates/yoga. Both of these body conditioning exercises promote stretching and flexibility within the muscles. Yoga is also a nice accompaniment to walking. By doing a combination of these pregnancy exercises, you can have a healthy balanced cardiovascular routine.

Being pregnant doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice exercise and health. By walking, swimming, doing aerobics, weight training, and engaging in a Pilates or yoga routine, you can have a healthy and fit pregnancy.

Is Your Skin Itchy during Pregnancy?

2008-08-19T05:44:00.001-07:00

In case you’re wondering, a lot of pregnant women out there are scratching away their itchy skin right now. If you are too, then take comfort at the fact that you’re not alone. And don’t worry, it is temporary.

You may wonder why is it that your skin gotten itchy lately especially around your belly area and your breasts. Well, when you are pregnant your body will experience an increased blood supply to the skin and that causes itchiness and other discomforts such as sweat rashes too. Plus, your body will grow in order to accommodate your pregnancy therefore causing your skin to stretch which is one of the reason for that itchiness you’re feeling right now.

So how do you stop the itch? For starters, you could start by avoiding hot shower and bath as this tends to dry out your skin and make the itching worse. Use mild soap and keep in mild to rinse it off your skin properly. Moisturizer helps too, though some scented ones could irritate your skin. So try to find the suitable unscented one.

Next, try not to wear tight clothes. Opt for loose cotton clothes that will let your skin breathe. And avoid going out in the heat of the day as heat can increase itchiness.

Need I remind you not to scratch too much as scratching could tear your skin. Whenever you feel so itchy it driving your crazy, try a psychological scratching method where you could scratch a stuff animal at the part where you ache instead of your own skin. Try it.

It's a Twin!

2008-07-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

Angelina Jolie gave birth to a twin last Saturday at the Fondation Lenval Hospital in Nice, France. And Brad Pitt is the happiest father in the ever! The mayor of Nice said that “[Brad] told me we chose one of the best hospitals in the world, one of the best doctors, one of the best medical teams. And also the most beautiful bay in the world.” Boy, he's really happy, isn't he?

Anyway, the babies name is Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, a boy and a girl and they spent the Saturday night in their mommy's room and she took care of them all by herself.

Congratulations Angelina Jolie and Brad!

Jennifer Lopez Gave Birth to Twins Today!

2008-02-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

I just read the news at Yahoo! and I'm so excited to share it with my readers. Our beloved pop singer, Jennifer Lopez has gave borth to twins very early today, which is Friday, 22nd November. Her manager has confirmed that the twins, which are a boy and a girl were born just after midnight this morning.

It is reported that the baby girl arrived first weighing 5 pounds, 7 ounces followed by her 6 pounds baby brother 15 minutes later. Congratulation both Jennifer Lopez and husband, Marc Anthony!

D-Day... Delivery Day!

2008-02-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

No need to tell you a lot of details, because new fathers won’t remember them. Besides, trust the fact that the new mother will know everything! The main thing she needs from you is patience, understanding, love, some housework and a safe drive to the hospital. When she thinks she is going to deliver, I suggest you pack her in the car, along with the bag she already has assembled, and make a leisurely, though reasonably fast, dash to the hospital.

There are all degrees of contractions and centimeters (she’ll know about these) and she will call her doctor when she feels she is about to go into or is in labor. The time it takes can be from having the baby in your car on the way, to a two-day wait. Most babies,

Contractions

I’m told, it take 8 to 10 hours. Some, 20 or 30 hours . . . or longer!

You’re more than encouraged to be in the room with your wife and watch the delivery. In the not-too-distant past, you waited outside with other daddy’s-to-be, pacing and smoking and waiting to be told “Congratulations, you have a 7 pound 2 ounce baby boy (or girl) and the mother is fine. Would you like to see her?”

You then will shake hands with the guys still waiting and give them a cigar. Then, you’re allowed to see the mother and to peep through a large glass to look at your new baby.

But now, you get to watch what your wife goes through. The birthing nurse will give you a set of paper-like pajamas to put on in either blue or green and a mask and you feel like a doctor.

While your wife is having these contractions, she will be in pain. Stand by her, hold her hand, pet her hair, put your face near hers and maybe kiss her cheek. She knows you want to help but telling her to take it easy is a bad choice of words. You can be certain that she wants to take it easy and needs no reminding from you! You’re the main reason she’s in this predicament!

Ask her to breathe the way you both practiced in Lamaze but, by all means, try not to emphasize the word breathe. By now, chances are she isn’t aware what she learned. If she yells at you, forgive her, okay? She might not even know who you are! All she wants to do is . . . have the baby!

An Expectant Jessica Alba Out for Breakfast

2008-02-19T10:57:00.001-08:00

Look, it's Jessica Alba! And she's not in her usual size, though she does look equally gorgeous. This pictures were snapped on Saturday when she's out with Cash Warren for a late breakfast. A bit about our Fantastic Four hottie here, she admits that the thought of breastfeeding is making her paranoid, more than giving birth itself. Well, I think she won't feel the same when she actually have the baby soon!

Milla Jovovich Out and About with Baby Ever

2008-02-18T06:55:00.000-08:00

After so awhile being under the radar, Milla Jovovich is out and about again during Valentine's Day with her drop dead gorgeous daughter, Baby Ever. Milla looking stylish herself carrying her daughter effortlessly, as if she's been a mother for years. Who would've thought our kicked-ass Resident Evil star would be holding a tiny baby like that. Both mommy and baby look so adorable together!

Christina Aguilera shows off her baby Max!

2008-02-14T02:54:00.001-08:00

After waiting anxiously, now we all got to see our beloved singer's beautiful baby. Christina Aguilera is head over heels in love with her baby Max. Well, look at him. Who could resist that angelic face? Hello, baby Max!

Don't Forget About the Baby's Room

2008-02-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, the baby going to be an additional member to the family. Which means, it's going to stay. Which mean, it need a room! Whatever spare room you had - guest bedroom, perhaps your office, workout room, little closed-off den that you padded so you could play TV at night when the world slept, or maybe it was her room, will now be . . . the baby’s room!

Assuming you have a moderate-sized home, chances are the new baby’s room will be dreadfully close to the master bedroom so you can hear anything louder than a whimper and tend to the baby. Don’t gripe. You’ll want the baby to have a room of its own. There will be times when you’ll wish it was in a spare room at the neighbor’s house!

Will it be a boy or a girl? Oh, you don’t like those new-fangled things, like Ultrasound? You choose to wait until the baby is born to determine it’s sex?. Hey, that’s okay too. Just know that the sex determines the color the baby’s room will be painted, whatever clothes you decide to buy before the baby arrives, and what toys you plan for the little tyke.

So, choose a color and take a chance. It’s 50/50; better odds than you’ll get at Vegas or Atlantic City. Seventy-five percent of the 50 or so mothers-to-be I interviewed wanted to wait until the baby was born to see if it was a boy or a girl. No need to find out for certain anyway; you already know it’s going to be a boy.

Sister Thelma the psycic - you remember - the lady in that old building with the palm of her hand acting as a sign that she’s in business, the one that sees all and knows all, told your wife it was going to be a boy three years ago! You believed it too. And that only cost five bucks. Far cheaper than any test in the doctor’s office, huh?

Who does the decorating? Not the man-of-the-house; he’s working earning money to buy blue paint and blue wallpaper. So the woman gleefully gets to choose the decor. Oh, she’ll ask you for an opinion but, take a good hint of advice, agree with her whatever she suggests. She’ll do it her own way regardless, so why not agree? Besides, you have other things to do like . . . Taking out the garbage, doing the groceries and cleaning the house.

Natural Childbirth Lamaze Classes

2008-02-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

Many new parents consider Natural Childbirth and if so, Lamaze classes are a must. The cost is reasonable (maybe fifty bucks for both of you) and they take place either evenings or on weekends. These classes can be fun as well as informative and you’ll learn all sorts of new words and a variety of diseases and complications to expect as well as learning to handle emergency situations.

One thing I learned after attending those classes and watching those movies is, “If I had to give birth to a baby, my wife and I would never consummate the marriage!”

Women truly are strong and can bear pain better than men . . . better than most men, that is. Let me share with you a few things you’ll learn in these classes.

You’ll learn that forceps (doctors say) do not injure the baby. I say look at these huge, shiny, pliers and judge for yourself. Try holding a pair and see what you think then. I say put a cushion or some type of pad on the inside cup of these hard, cold, menacing looking baby-head squeezers. I think the baby would appreciate it. I think mothers wish they were a bit smaller and perhaps warmer too!

Episiotomy. This is when the baby’s head is a little bit too big to come out comfortably and the doctor determines, on the spot, that to widen the bottom of the vagina by cutting the opening a bit is far better than having it tear.

Men, this is serious and painful and it just isn’t funny to joke about. Saying such gauche things as, “cut an extra stitch in, will ya’ doc”, is not only bad manners but the doctor has heard it more often than the guy who is 7 feet tall being asked by idiots, “how’s the weather up there?”

In the class, you'll learn to breathe. Yes, I mean you learn to breathe because you are the coach. Although you and your wife are learning at the same time, you should have more control when it comes time to put this practice to work.

Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Do this twice in 15 seconds. Then, when the baby is almost exposed to the world, you have to increase the breathing, sort of like a dog after a long run in hot weather. Anyway, you’ll see how it’s done and you’ll use it, even if you’re not aware you’re doing it.

You’ll be shown interesting movies and actually see several people giving birth. You learn to really appreciate what your wife is going through and what still lies ahead for her. If couples intending to have a baby attended these classes while in the thinking stage, the birth rate, I feel, would be cut back as much as ninety percent! Are these kids worth the pain, expense and effort? You bet!

Changes in your wife and how you deal with it.

2008-02-03T13:13:00.001-08:00

Want to show her that you care and make her feel good at the same time? A thoughtful move to explore is massage. Her back is sore, her neck and shoulders might be stiff or tense, and her legs are tired having to lug around this extra weight. She needs to be looked after, coddled, spoiled! Start by warming some type of scented oil or maybe just some moisturizing cream to rub on her a few evenings a week. She’ll appreciate it more than you could ever know. Yes, spoil her during this time because she is going through major change and maximum discomfort.

Remember how it was when the two of you first went out? How you were never a minute late to pick her up for a date? How you rushed to open the car door for her and always pulled the seat our for her at restaurants? How you shaved extra close to make certain she wouldn’t get whisker burn? The times when you brought her flowers or candy? How you complimented her on her hair, choice of clothes, on how sweet she smelled?

Well, now is the time to bring all of that back, to return to that mode, new fathers-to-be. You should have been doing this all along but if not, begin now. This time is special for you both. Her body is going through all sorts of changes that neither of you can fully explain or understand. Be safe, be smart, be caring and spoil her every chance you get and in every way you can think of.

Her appetite will increase too. I know you used to get the largest servings and that was okay then, but this...is now. She was dieting then trying to keep that trim figure but, expect changes in this area also.

While your wife is carrying the baby, it is she who will eat the large meals! Don’t think for a single second that she will watch you eat while she starves. Unless she is experiencing morning sickness and feels nauseous, she will eat everything in the pantry, refrigerator and in the house that doesn’t move! If she asks you to get up to get her a glass of juice, take your food with you or she’ll eat it!

Now, let's talk about sleeping issue. It’s payback time, because now, with that added weight, she will do the loudest snoring. Gripe if you must but remember, she’s been listening to your grunting, puffing, wheezing and bleating for however long. But, easy to fix. Go to the local pharmacy and pick up a set of 35 decibel earplugs.

Making Your Pregnant Wife's Day a Little Easier by Helping Out

2008-01-30T00:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, there are definite changes about to occur in your life that begin the very day your wife announced that you are going to be a father. To start, your household duties will increase. There will be things to be done that she will, now, unable to do. I suggest you make those honey-do’s, things you decide upon. Might as well, because you’ll have to do them anyway. It’s a way to show your wife, other than with gifts and promises, that you are willing to share in these duties you took for granted for so long. Here are some off-the-cuff suggestions:

Try to throw your soiled socks, underwear, pants and dirty shirts inside, and not just near, the laundry basket. This also applies to shoes and other garments strewn around the house.

Liners do go into those trash cans and someone actually puts them there. If you’re unsure about which end opens, the end opposite the one with the tie goes on bottom. I realize you thought they just happened to popped magically in the can, but here's a news for you, buddy. She’s been doing it. Now, it’s your turn.

Wipe your shoes clean before coming in from the backyard. You’ve been tracking in dirt, cut grass and leaves for years and she’s been cleaning up after you. Now, it’s your turn to vacuum and you’ll see how much effort it takes to clean up this mess.

After your TV snacks, start picking up the ice cream bowls or empty popcorn bags from the floor of the den. As time passes and the baby inside grows, she will no longer be able to bend over and pick up after you with the ease in which she did before.

And what about cooking? Have you done much of that since your bachelor days? Now is the to time to get back into practice or learn because there will be times when she is not feeling well and if you don’t cook, you don’t eat! Buying it out would make it simple isn't it? But what about your dear wife. She needs a healthy meal and if she don't have the strenght to cook, you're going to have to cook for her.

Grocery shopping too — and alone! I mean you go alone, without your wife. No longer can you just walk alongside the cart she pushes and throw things inside or disappear for a few minutes only to return with an armful of goodies that you enjoy. No deal, this trip you make to the grocery is a chore, and chances are you won’t have time to shop for yourself.

There’s also yard work, much of what she did because she had leisure time. That leisure time is now all taken up by that new arrival. Even those insignificant chores she did like taking clothes to the laundry or making a telephone call for you or picking up your much-cherished TV guide and watering the plants. You’ll have to do those things by yourself now. So, go out there and pick up that water hose, those plants are thirsty!

There are much more! Believe me. But these are all that I could think of for now. I'll surely post some more for your guidance :)

What to Make of Yourself When You Get the News

2008-01-28T13:47:00.000-08:00

God did favor men when He chose the woman to bear children. I know men agree. If not, after witnessing your wife’s ‘discomfort’ which is putting it rather mildly for sleepless nights, dragging around an additional 25 or more pounds that she feels she’ll never lose, not able to fit into any of the clothes she adores, and having 9 months feel like 9 decade you’ll agree. Then, they go into the final phase of actually having the baby… something someone not at all would volunteer to go through.

Let’s assume you two and your wife have been wanting to have a child for some time and finally you are blessed with the fact that your wife’s visit to the doctor’s office produces an affirmative answer, or the paper in the home pregnancy test turned blue, you finally got the news you've been waiting for! Most couples are elated, but it’s also a little bit frightening. No longer are you talking about or planning to have baby, you ARE going to have a baby! The very first smart thing to do, gentlemen, is to hug dear your wife tightly and kiss her lovingly. This wonderful woman, your soulmate, your love, is about to make you a father!

Spoil that mother-to-be. Make her feel prettier and more special than ever before. Take her out for a celebration of dinner and dancing. Have flowers sent to her while you’re away at work and bring home a gift. The present needn’t be expensive, just something that makes her know you are thinking of her, and that you’re as happy as she is about the baby.

It might take a week or two for the idea to sink in and sleeping becomes difficult. You can’t decide whether you’re truly happy or scared to death, but you’ll dream and in these dreams you make plans. Whatever plans you make during these first few weeks will mean little, simply because you don’t truly know what to expect. Try to think positive thoughts and plan on all the fun things you can do with your new baby, girl or boy.

Your conversation with almost everyone will change because you want to tell the world that you are going to be a father. You’ll even start looking at babies. Oh, you’ve looked before but this time, you will really look. And you’ll start asking questions of other fathers too and if not, the information will flow from those fathers without having to ask. Everyone will have an opinion and a suggestion.

Most first-time fathers want their first-born to be a boy because, for what ever reason, they want another living creature stalking the earth, just like them! And your wife wants a boy for you too, although she may prefer a girl.

Don’t be choosy. Take whatever it is and pray for mother and child are both healthy. Besides, you, adaddy-to-be, are the one who determines boy or girl; it truly is just the luck-of-the-draw, with you, dad, spinning the wheel. So whether it’s a bouncing baby boy or a cuddly sweet and precious little girl, it is your doing!

Why fathers need to know about baby care too?

2008-01-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

It doesn't matter whether you’re a kid of 18 years old, or more on the mature zone like 28 or 30, if you’re a middle-aged dad, the process is still the same. The main point is, you are about to become a parent! Whether the little angel was planned or just happened, being a new father brings forth new responsibility and experiences.

Mothers already know much of these baby care stuff but new fathers need to learn some things too. Armed with new knowledge, facts and hints about how to care for your baby, you will find that being a new father is actually enjoyable. It will help avoid many sleepless nights, increase your degree of patience, aid you in readjusting your habits, and help you in learning more about your baby.

You should understand that there will be sleepless nights. And, there will be times when your baby just keep crying and crying, getting louder and louder each second, and everything you try fails. A test of patience? You bet! You feel the crying will drive you mad? It sure would. You might even cry along. You yell for your wife but she is away, working, shopping, anywhere, just unavailable to recue you at the moment. During that time, you just wish if only you'd taken a little time to read more about babies. So, don't make that mistake and start learning now. While it still in your wife's belly!

There will be times that you and your wife would like to do something together, but you can’t. Why? Because you can’t take the baby along with you for any number of reasons. Maybe your baby cries a lot, or doesn’t like noise, or can’t sit still, or can’t lie down too long. Perhaps you either can’t afford, or don’t want, or can’t find a sitter.

Plan on some monetary sacrifices too, because that new sports car you've been saving for or that vacation to backpack around Europe will have to wait. Why? Because you will need the money for added insurance payments, baby clothes, baby food, baby gadgets, baby furniture, supplements and medicines. Kids get every sickness other kids have. You’ll need money for ear drops, nose drops, eye drops, baby aspirin, baby powder, baby soap, and doctor bills. You’ll need tons of diapers, a load of baby bottles, a bucket of pacifiers and a pickup truck of wipe rags and a saving account for college. The list will be endless.

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Why would anyone want kids if they’re so much trouble and the sacrifices...oh boy, don't get me started on the sacrifices. Is it all worth it? Well, just go and look into the face of your newborn and you tell me whether it’s worth it. Listen to their laugh or watch them smile. Pick them up and hold them next to your chest and feel them breathe. Grin at them while they eat or laugh when they burp or go into their room at night and just stand over them as they sleep. Marvel at all the seemingly inconsequential things they do that make you swell with pride. Then let me see if you're still asking yourself whether it's worth it.

There are pro and con when it comes to being a young father. Naturally you’d like to grow up with your kids, a big advantage. Sure you’ll enjoy playing ball and watching movies with them. Some say it’ll keep you young. But most will say that it will age you! But I wouldn’t call it that. In a more gentle word… It will make you more mature.

When I look at older fathers, say 45 and above, it does seem to add youth to them. They are more understanding, more tolerant. Having kids make them happier and have something to look forward to every single day. Personally, I think it is definitely a God’s blessing no matter at whatever age you become a father.

Dilemmas and Issues With Grandparents

2008-01-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes being a parent is like being in middle management. You have not only a whole host of issues to deal with in relation to the kids, but grandparents can introduce another set. Grandparents in the parenting mix present all the issues of influence from others, but with the obvious added wrinkle that they have a special relationship to both the parents and the children.

So, how does a parent maximize all the good things grandparents bring, while minimizing some of the potential difficulties?

Grandparents can offer enormous value by sharing the wisdom of long experience. After all, they have raised children before and most parents will want to believe they did a good job. For such advice to be valuable, however, it has to be delivered at the right time and in the right way.

Grandparents who need some reminding can be diplomatically asked to hold off on offering wisdom until the parent is in a more receptive frame of mind. Unprompted comments during child disciplining almost invariably sound like a rebuke. It will usually, understandably, be met with a defensive reaction.

For the parents' part, their long-term self-interest will be served by exercising some objectivity. After the strong emotions fade, give some thought to whether the grandparents advice has merit. It usually does. Place a lower emphasis on how or when it was delivered.

Grandparents want what's best for the grandchildren and their own, naturally. That hope can be realized by their exercising some objectivity, as well. Realizing that the parents bear the primary responsibility for establishing rules and inculcating values for their children will help avoid conflicts.

Parents can help by picking their battles. Grandparents are individuals and will have different views on many subjects. As they express those views in action, their choices can collide with what the parent wants.

But not every minor disagreement is grounds for a major battle, or any at all. Rules about bedtime and diet should be respected, since these have a real effect on health. But there are many areas where the grandparents, rightly, want to enjoy giving the children a little more materially and in freedom than the parents might feel comfortable with.

A healthy compromise can be reached when all parties exercise a little creativity. A $500 chemistry set as a birthday gift might worry some parents. Substituting trips to the aquarium and zoo might be one way to 'split the difference'.

Conflict negotiators often suggest that parties at loggerheads seek common ground. Fortunately, when it comes to raising children, both parents and grandparents have much fertile earth to share. Both almost always have the interests of the child first and foremost in mind.

Settling disputes is easier when both parties seek to 'make their case' by patient reasoning based on a foundation of fact. Combining that attitude of objectivity with respect for individual values is a winning package.

Home, Public or Private School, Which School is Ideal For Your Kid?

2008-01-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

Few issues have such a long-term effect on the welfare of a child as the choice of the type of school to attend. The average child will spend about 13 years in school prior to college, often attending one type the entire time.

Not surprisingly, emotions run high when discussing the choice. Advocates will stake out a position and cling to it tenaciously, seeking to find flaws in arguments for alternative choices. This, too, isn't surprising since the different camps typically have radically different starting points or outlooks.

The choice, and the arguments in favor of it, generally revolve around a difference in basic values. They ask: what is regarded as most important in education? Scholastic achievement? Social skills development? Future college or income opportunities?

Naturally, parents will have to weigh any and all of those against cost, parental time investment, legal requirements and other factors.

Those who weight one and several other possible values more significantly or more heavily than another will tend to align themselves in favor of one choice over the others.

For example, statistics are clear that homeschooling tends to produce young individuals that score better on standardized tests and achieve the college of choice more often. This suggests that homeschooling, whatever other benefits or drawbacks it might have, tends to produce students with higher scholastic skills.

The outcome of emphasis on that value is debatable, but again statistics are influential. Studies show that those with higher grades, and who attend a college of choice, tend to have more career opportunities after graduation and enjoy higher starting salaries.

Others will argue, reasonably enough, that there is more to life than scholastic-style learning and the potential for increased income.

This camp will point to the increased opportunities that public school provides for social interaction. Advocates will say that it does a child long-term harm to 'put them in a bubble' for 10 or more years, then throw them out into the world unprepared.

Public school advocates will also point to the higher costs of private school and the much higher time investment (for parents) typically required for homeschooling. Kids, too, often voice their preference in favor of public school, since it allows them to associate more with those whom they already know.

Private school advocates will argue that this choice offers the best of both worlds. At the same time, they argue, prices vary and are often not as high as parents may think. Private schools often have very rigorous curricula and many rank well in studies that measure standardized test results, college entrance success and other factors.

Montessori proponents, for example, can rightly point to a track record several decades long showing students who succeed scholastically, creatively and in other measures. Wise ones will also assert the caveat that Montessori schools can vary widely in quality. Some may bear little more resemblance to another than the sign outside.

There is, of course, no straightforward way to settle such a debate without engaging in a much larger discussion of basic philosophy. Each parent will do well to examine his or her goals for their individual child and research each choice thoroughly.

Teaching Your Child About the Natural and Logical Consequences

2008-01-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

Knowing when to require a child to obey and when to let them take the consequences of an independent choice is always a tough dilemma for parents. One pair of ideas that can help them are the twins: natural consequences and logical consequences.

Natural consequences are the reality-determined effect of some choice a child has made. Burning a hand on a hot stove is the most obvious and extreme example. No intervention on the parent's part is needed to show the child the connection between its ill-chosen action and the bad result.

Feeling the effect of failing to stick to a commitment is a better, and typically safer, scenario. A child promises to save money in order to buy a bicycle. But he or she yields to temptation and spends the money instead on worthless junk that quickly breaks, then still expects to receive the bicycle.

In these cases, the parent need do nothing but simply allow the child to see the cause-effect relationship between choice and consequence. One of the advantages of this method is it works both ways. When the child makes a good choice he or she benefits, and in two ways. They have enacted something that results in a value to them, and they achieved that value independently. Those two reinforce one another in a positive feedback loop.

But, most parents (rightly so) won't allow a young child to rush out into traffic to see for themselves the result of failing to look both ways. There are times when it's necessary to employ logical consequences instead.

Logical consequences require the active participation of a parent in producing the outcome. But the parent makes clear that the parent's choice is logically related to the choice made by the child.

Failing to return a video on time results in a late fee. Subtracting that fee from the weekly allowance is a logically related consequence, directly connected to the child's failure to keep a commitment.

Sometimes more serious circumstances exist, where the consequences may be severe. A sixteen-year old girl who has unprotected sex with her seventeen-year old boyfriend risks becoming pregnant, a possible natural consequence. But a logical consequence can be employed to teach a lesson without enduring that degree of risk.

Those logical consequences can be as creatively diverse as the parents who are faced with the situation. They may involve severing the relationship between the pair - which rarely works. They may involve requiring more extensive supervision, restriction of the freedom to go to the mall or a dozen other alternatives. No 'one-size-fits-all' solution is possible, since teenagers are all individuals. But employing a logically related consequence is typically much more effective than mere punishment.

There are times when it's safe to allow a child or teen to experience the natural result of their actions. In other cases, the consequences are too severe or long-lasting. Knowing when to employ which method will always be a difficult choice for parents. Let experience be your guide.

An Update Regarding Christina's New Born Baby

2008-01-14T11:19:00.000-08:00

The last time, the report was vague about Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman welcomed their very first child. Now that her rep has spoken, we got more news!

Anyway, it's a boy! Christina Aguilera's gave birth to a baby boy on Saturday at 10:05 pm. They proudly announced that their son's name is Max Liron Bratman and he weight 6lbs and 2oz. Still no pictures of him just yet though, but we'll wait.

Welcome baby Max!

Amanda Peet and Her Baby

2008-01-13T10:22:00.001-08:00

Here is a picture of Amanda Peet and her 11 months old baby, Frances Pen. This picture was snapped at the LA International Airport on 9th January. You could just see that cuddly little baby and how blue his eyes are, looking so kissable!

Pre School Jitters!

2008-01-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, the big day has arrived. Your child is about to spend his or her first day at preschool. Is your child nervous or fearful? Well, that's natural. Here are some suggestions about how to make that first time a little less worrisome.

Research, research, research. Parents who want to do the best for themselves and their child (and that includes nearly everyone) will want to do lots of homework long before the child does any.

Finding out about quality preschools - which are good, which are to be avoided - is, of course, basic. Recommendations remain one of the best sources, and are usually easy to obtain since most preschools are relatively close to home or work and often used by others in the area.

Montessori (when they practice genuine Montessori methods) remain one of the best organizations around. But there are some, unfortunately, where the resemblance ends with hanging up the sign. Be sure to meet the teachers personally and ask probing questions that include hypothetical scenarios.

The 'big day' can be softened by making an effort for it not to be the first day the child has been away. Many children, along with the parents, will experience separation anxiety when being parted from a parent and placed in an unfamiliar environment. Others see it as an adventure. Children, like adults, are individuals with a wide range of responses.

Make the transition easier by making it gradual.

Spend some time away from the child while a trusted individual cares for him or her. Expand the time from a few minutes to an hour, to a few hours. Work up to it slowly. During the parents absence, have the caretaker practice some elementary 'lessons' with the child.

Then, move the action outside the home - to the neighbor's house, or elsewhere unfamiliar. The first few times the new environment should include the parent, then with parent and caretaker (varying the time spent with both), then caretaker alone.

Set aside some time during the day to give the child formal 'lessons' that are a mixture of exploration and verbal or visual learning. The length of time will vary, of course, depending on the age and personality of the child, but should be extended gradually from a few minutes per day to an hour or more.

Most children are naturally curious, but one will express it differently from another. Assist that natural curiosity by relating the new material to the child's individual context. This can spring from a shared sight viewed from the living room window or a movie or any of dozens of other experiences. Emphasis on exploring phenomena the child can see, touch and manipulate personally will go a long way toward feeding that young mind.

When possible, trade off the individual caretaker, switching genders if possible. Gradually exposing your child to new people in a familiar environment where they feel secure will help that first day seem like nothing new.

Nicole Richie Gave Birth to a Baby Girl

2008-01-12T07:43:00.001-08:00

Nicole Richie and her boyfriend Joel Madden welcome their baby girl, Harlow Winter Kate Madden on Friday. The baby is healthy and weight 6lbs and 7oz. No picture just yet, but I promise I'll post it once they've release it.

Joel mentioned about getting married with Nicole in the future. Anyway, congratulations both!

Christina Aguilera Welcomes Her First Child!

2008-01-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

Life & Style magazine recently has reported that Christina Aguilera and her husband welcome their first child. However, there are no detail about the baby what so ever. Probably the couple wishes to have a little privacy enjoying their time together with their new born baby.

Whatever it is, our very talented singer is a mommy now! Congratulations Christina!

Keri Russel and Her Baby

2008-01-10T10:18:00.001-08:00

Keri Russell, our beloved Felicity star was photographed recently spending time with her 7 months old baby boy, River. Look at him, looking like an angel! Have you see her picture just after 2 weeks giving birth? She looked so pretty and fit, going out and about with her 2 weeks old baby in a sling doing errands. I bet all moms out there would love to look as pretty as she did!

Being a Step-Parent

2008-01-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

Being a step-parent is somewhat like being in middle management - you get the complaints from 'above' and 'below'. One way out of this dilemma is to step out from the middle and simply be part of 'senior management'. Successful employment of that strategy will require cooperation from the biological parent. But if you don't have that already, that may well be a major source of the difficulty to begin with.

Like any change in relationships, adjustments take time. Attempting to force the situation will likely result in frustration to all parties. The biological parent may well be threatened by the need to 'share power' and the child will typically resent being guided by someone not 'officially sanctioned'.

Here again, cooperation of the biological parent is key. Honestly communicating frustrations in a non-confrontational way gives that parent the opportunity to hear what needs the step-parent may have that are being thwarted. Experience suggests that no-quick fix or instantaneous change is likely to take place. Several calm, mature discussions will need to occur before a meaningful, lasting shift can take place.

The step-child, too, will necessarily be part of the equation. Seeing another adult in the role of step-parent, rather than intruder, will take time. How much time will depend on the age and individual personality of the child. The child shouldn't be allowed to dictate terms - adults need to remain the term-setters in the house. But a sincere respect for the child's context will benefit all parties.

One way to ease this transition is to have the biological parent, the step-parent and the children sit down for a quiet, unhurried talk. This assumes the children are older than about three or so. During the discussion, which the biological parent should initially lead, an age appropriate 'statement of policy' can be revealed and talked about.

The two parents should have prepared this in advance and agreed on any compromise beforehand. The discussion should not be one of simply 'laying down the law'. Children need a sense of control and freedom to choose just as adults do. But the adults are necessarily in the role of ultimate 'decider' in the household.

Showing the children that the adults are united in this area will go a long way toward avoiding playing one parent off the other - including those in another household. It will provide the children with clear guidance that will need to be reinforced by actual experiences and occasional reminders.

Such an arrangement, formalized by the discussion, will help to relieve anxiety on the part of the step-parent about what he or she should expect. The step-parent, too, needs to know where to assert authority, and when to take a back seat.

Signs of Labor and How to Deal With it

2008-01-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Expectant mothers, especially those pregnant for the first time, often have doubts about when labor begins and what it feels like. That's natural. Only experience can inform a woman exactly what it is, and even then one childbirth will vary from another. But being prepared by acquiring guidance can help ease concerns.

False labor is one of the trickiest issues pregnant women have to deal with. Packing the car, rushing to the hospital, disrupting a mate at work and more are all normal parts of delivery. Not generating false alarms is going to be high on anyone's wish list.

The first step is simply to accept an inescapable fact: no one can predict with certainty when labor begins (yet). A due date is nothing more than a best estimate. Those estimates have improved with the greater accuracy of early pregnancy tests, but they are still not 100% reliable.

Only about 5% of women who carry their babies to term actually deliver on the estimated date. Dates vary from a few days to a few weeks before or after. That doesn't mean that delivering early is necessarily delivering prematurely. There is simply a natural variation in how long pregnancy lasts. Due dates are specified for the average, that's all.

There are some signs to look for that labor has begun, however.

During a first pregnancy, babies will often move slightly into the birth canal two to three weeks before the onset of labor. An attentive mother can detect that movement. It may be easier to breathe, due to the shift away from the diaphragm. At the same time, pressure on the bladder may increase, leading to more frequent urination.

Past the first child, this movement may be less pronounced, and will tend to occur much later, sometimes only a few hours before labor begins.

Throughout pregnancy, it's normal to experience contractions. The baby moves, your muscles react. Hormonal changes induce neural events that lead to contraction. These random events don't indicate much. But as the third trimester advances, they can increase in frequency and intensity.

As they come more often and stronger, mothers report they experience heightened energy and may feel compelled to take on projects around the house. Working off some of that energy is a healthy thing, particularly since (as the day approaches) they often just 'want it to be over'.

A small mucus plug that sealed the cervix during pregnancy can stretch and break apart, even before 'water breaks'. This pinkish mucus is a normal discharge. Deep red fluid or blood should be investigated at once as a possible sign of tearing of the placenta from the uterus.

Now is the time to get prepared for the final stages.

Nicole Kidman Is Pregnant

2008-01-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Nicole Kidman is indeed pregnant. She and Keith Urban were married 18 months ago and now expecting their first child. Yes, she is! Her rep has confirmed it.

Nicole Kidman staring in the Invasion, Margot at the Wedding, and the Golden Compass have been talking about wanting to get pregnant even before she and Keith started dating. And now she is! How exciting is that?

Honestly, I've been waiting for Nicole Kidman to be pregnant for a long time. I'm curious to see how this style queen dress herself when she starts to have to wear the maternity clothes. I bet she will look gorgeous as always.

Anyway, congratulations Nicole and Keith!

Post-Natal Depression IS Treatable

2008-01-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

Anywhere from 5-25% of women who give birth get some form of post-natal depression. One reason for the wide range in the numbers is the difficulty of pinning down exactly what it is. But women who have had it know too well what it feels like.

Anywhere from a few days to a few weeks after giving birth, some women will feel 'the blues', a moodiness that seems unrelated to external events. It may last only a few days, or as long as a couple of weeks. Longer depressions may be a sign of something more fundamental. Here again, one difficulty in discussing the condition is the widely varying time period that women experience.

Symptoms vary, too. Spontaneous crying may be more common and a general malaise may linger. Women may experience an inability to take pleasure in otherwise enjoyable activities. The new mother may have trouble sleeping and feel fatigued during the day.

Women suffering from post-natal depression commonly become obsessively worried about the health of the baby, an exaggerated reaction to a normal concern. She may have a loss of appetite or impaired concentration. Wide mood swings are a normal part of the condition - feeling elated one minute and extremely sad the next. A sense of worthlessness is not uncommon.

In some extreme cases, she may have suicidal thoughts. In severe cases, women have considered killing their infants in order not to leave them helpless after her suicide. Sometimes these go beyond the normal postpartum depression into a condition called postpartum psychosis. Having a thought, no matter how troublesome, is no cause for alarm. Taking steps to act on it may indicate a more serious problem.

The causes are not known with certainty, but they're almost certainly (at least in part) the result of rapidly changing hormones. Both estrogen and progesterone increase considerably during pregnancy, then drop rapidly back to non-pregnant levels within 24 hours after birth.

But, that is also a reason to be optimistic. When hormones change rapidly, the body has a remarkable ability to bring things back into equilibrium. Expectant mothers can take comfort in knowing that the condition is (usually) short-lived and that it rarely interferes with her ability to care for her baby.

The condition has been widely studied and there are a number of approaches to treatment. Some new mothers benefit from mild anti-depressants for a short while to get them over the period when the symptoms are most severe. Talk therapy is often helpful. Being with not only a professional, but hearing the stories of women who have gone through similar experiences often helps.

Knowing that the condition is normal, short-lived and treatable gives women reason to persist through a difficult time. It's important that women not feel embarrassed to report her symptoms to a spouse or even a professional. Seeking help is the first step to recovery.

Exercise Tips for Mommy to-be

2008-01-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

Many women enjoy a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise and a good diet. It can be tough to maintain that lifestyle when she becomes pregnant, especially during the later stages. But it is possible, and in fact preferable, to maintain an exercise regiment at least up until the last month.

Pregnancy brings many changes. Hormone levels go wild, you gain weight and (later) movement becomes increasingly difficult. Changes in the level of progesterone, estrogen and others produce softening of the ligaments around joints. Strain on internal organs, the back and legs is inevitable. At the same time, you'll put on almost 30 lbs. Go easy.

Sometimes a general malaise sets in. Regular, appropriate exercise can help relieve much of that and help put your body in the best shape possible for labor. That optimizes your comfort and your growing baby's health.

The first step is to adopt a kind of Hippocratic Oath of Pregnancy: First, Do No Harm. That ancient principle from the Greeks is still valid, more so during pregnancy. Some women are used to running five miles, doing every station at the weight machine or performing Pilates an hour a day. That will have to change fairly quickly.

But maintaining a good exercise regimen is still possible, just change your workout to fit your changing body. Eliminate crunches or any other form of exercise that stresses the abdominals or back. Go with lighter weights. Avoid jerky movements and forego squats which can separate the placenta from the uterus.

Breathing properly during exercises performed while pregnant is essential. Correct breathing technique anytime is important, but you're now breathing for two. The baby receives oxygen through the umbilical and keeping the blood fully oxygenated is imperative.

Keep in mind that your resting heartbeat will increase by about 8 beats per minute during the first few weeks. Blood volume increases substantially as you progress. Factor that in when you consider any cardio exercise.

Hydrate at an appropriate amount throughout the day. That means small sips over a longer time frame, rather than large intake at a given time. Eating should follow the same pattern - four to five small meals per day is preferable to three larger ones.

Before beginning a workout, warm up gently. Perform easy stretches and be prepared to rest often for a few minutes at a time. Light cardio is the key to a healthy circulatory system, so important during these months.

Pregnancy shifts your center of gravity forward, stressing the spine and back muscles. To ease that aching back, swimming is one of the best forms of exercises. It also gives a very low stress but active cardio workout.

Yoga is a favorite for many. It helps achieve peace of mind and provides gentle movements that provide the needed stretching, while building good leg and arm strength. It gives also low impact on the back.

With a good program, you'll reduce cramps, improve circulation and increase energy. You'll lower your resting heart rate and keep fit.

If you feel any dizziness, swelling or experience any kind of vaginal bleeding or discharge discontinue at once and consult a medical professional.

Before beginning any exercise regimen it's vital that you talk with your physician. It's great to get more than one opinion, but your OB/GYN (obstetrician/gynecologist) can help you devise a program that is great for you and your baby.

Cate Blanchett Expecting Yet Looking Ever So Stunning

2008-01-02T13:26:00.001-08:00

Cate Blachett, 38, looking absolutely stunning in that black dress. This picture was taken at the Bob Dylan Movie premiere. Cate is expecting her third child in April. Lovely, isn't she?

Katie Holmes and Suri

2008-01-02T13:19:00.001-08:00

Here is a picture of Katie and her baby, Suri. This picture is taken while mommy and daughter went to do some shopping at the Groove in Hollywood Friday. Suri seems to grow so fast, becoming a young lady now, isn't she? It feels like only yesterday the world was criticizing Tom for buying a sonogram machine so that they could view the baby at home.

Adoption

2008-01-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

Adopting a child may be both a long train of practical and emotional nightmares and the fulfillment of a dream.

About 1% of all children in the U.S. were adopted. Thus, though the percentage may be small, the total number is considerable - in the millions. While, fortunately, many of the traditional stigmas have faded, adoption and raising adopted children remains a uniquely challenging process for millions of parents.

Many psychologists who specialize in such issues can report from their files such heartrending statements as:

"We knew this child would be different from us. But sometimes it seems we don't know him at all." or,

"Sometimes we just look at each other and ask what we got ourselves into?"

Many everyday, practical issues are more difficult to handle in adoption scenarios. Lack of knowledge of heredity in relation to medical problems, prior bad parenting or even abuse can seem to make understanding present problems more difficult.

Children who discover unexpectedly that they are adopted - especially from someone other than the adoptive parent - can feel (often without any input from others) that they are somehow less than fully loved and wanted. How and when to inform young children that they have been adopted presents a unique challenge to adoptive parents.

While no 'one size fits all' prescription for dealing with adoption issues can hope to be realistic, some general suggestions may help parents better cope with their special difficulties.

Parents who make the effort to endure the long and painful bureaucracy and expense that too often accompanies adoption should take pride in having persisted. Keeping the end goal in mind is difficult in the midst of so many needless hurdles, and those who do so are entitled to feel good about it.

Dealing with a child's medical problems is trying enough for any parent, but adoptive parents sometimes feel frustrated and fear being unable to cope. Some comfort may be had by realizing that hereditary information is only one small part of diagnosis. Physicians effectively treat unconscious victims, emergency cases and a wide variety of other patients in circumstances where such information is not available nor particularly useful.

Some value may be had also in realizing that psychological issues can and do arise about as frequently with biological children. Except in cases of actual abuse, former experiences are only a small part of the cause of what a child is presently feeling.

As adoptive parents know, the bonds that form between parent and child form very quickly and very deep. Both common experience and formal studies show that such relationships are as strong and lasting as biologically-based parent-child bonds.

That suggests that the relationships and their value to parent and child are as much the consequence of choice as of biology. Indeed, since they are chosen by the parent, both parties can benefit from the advantages such arrangements offer.

Adoptive parents can revel in and express with joy to their child that 'you were chosen'. This is not recommended in families of mixed adopted and biological children. Biological children should not be given the message that they were not chosen, nor should adopted children be encouraged in a view that they are superior to the other children for having been adopted.

Parents and child can each enjoy the many benefits of family life, the overwhelming majority of which have little or nothing to do with biological relations. Whether the specific child was the offspring of that particular parent or not, the pride of guiding and the joy of learning is the same. The special emotional bonds among family members transcends how the parties met.

Nurturing Your Child's Temperament and Personality

2007-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

Most child development professionals, following a study by Thomas and Chess in the 1950s, hold that temperament is inborn. Personality, by contrast, is influenced by environment and self-development.

The characteristics of temperament - nine categories, including Activity Level, Sensitivity, Adaptability, and others - are sometimes regarded by parents as a source of frustration, since they are inborn and therefore not subject to much change.

But the fact that inborn traits are stable can work to the parents' advantage. Individual humans are so complex and varied that it can be difficult to develop effective strategies for healthy child development. The existence of inborn traits, however, can help parents by providing an identifiable pattern on which to base their guidance.

The first important element in any parenting strategy is objectivity. That's a difficult status to achieve given the enormous importance and value of the child, but much frustration can be avoided by making the attempt. But objectivity does not mean emotional or value neutrality. It simply means honestly assessing the facts. Evaluation of those facts, and deciding what actions to take is a later step.

Temperament is one area where objectivity is easier to achieve, since a variety of tests exist to help measure its dimensions. Such tests are typically a mix of questionnaire, interview and observation of both parent and child. Even an Internet questionnaire can represent a good first start.

Knowing whether your child is inherently more active, more easily distracted, exhibits a higher intensity of emotional expression, and so forth is a good first step to understanding his or her nature. Parents would do well to test and analyze their own temperaments, as well. Some temperaments mix better than others.

Beyond the inborn characteristics of temperament lies the vast realm of personality.

Personality is even more complex than temperament, and ideas about it correspondingly more controversial. Theories abound about what shapes it and to what degree - environment, heredity, self-development. Added to the mix are the many cultural factors around the world that differ with regard to parenting approach. Values, both individual and social, make an objective assessment much more difficult.

Even so, non-professionals can readily recognize different personality types. Parents rapidly gain valuable experience in assessing and dealing with the personality of his or her own child, especially when the child is not the first.

That experience should not be too lightly dismissed, even in the face of a bewildering array of professional tests, theories and advice. Good science requires taking seriously experimental data, whatever theory the parent may be exposed to or inclined to favor.

Many parents are surprised to find that one child is so different from the other. They often wonder how this could be and what could be attributed to their own parenting. Parents rest easier when they know that some inborn features are just that, and can easily differ from one child to the next.

Knowing the actual nature of your child is the first step toward developing a sound parenting strategy. The results are less frustrated parents and healthier children.

Hello Baby Maxwel Alston Sutter!

2007-12-29T05:30:00.001-08:00

Here’s a picture of Ryan and Trista Sutter with their baby Maxwell Alston Sutter. He was born on July 26, 2007. The couple has been trying to get pregnant and now their life is complete with that cute little thing in Trista’s arms there. What a beautiful family they got there. Congratulations to the Sutters!

Paris Hilton Announced Christina aguilera's Pregnancy

2007-12-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, let's face it, we all already know that Christina Aguilera is pregnant. I mean, seriously. It's either that or she has gained weight only on the tummy. But for some reason, she never really confirmed it to the public until Paris Hilton got on a microphone at nightclub in Vegas and said "Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. You're gorgeous." Christina Aguilera who was also there looked momentarily stunned and then laughed with her husband as the crowd applause. So, it's really out now, thanks to Paris Hilton!

That was on September, by the way. And now, not only she has confirmed her pregnancy, but she also bares it all in Marie Claire for their January issue.

All the best for your Christina Aguilera!

Nurturing Your Child's Independence

2007-12-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

A fundamental fact for almost all children is that eventually they grow older. But, sadly, not all grow up. If an individual is to have a hope of a happy life, a large amount of independence is essential.

Independence, here, does not mean never needing another person, nor creating every value that one needs - physical, intellectual and emotional - without any involvement from others. Life alone on a desert island would be harsh and dreary. But it does entail a significant amount of independence in the traditional sense. It means thinking and choosing for oneself, without undue influence or consideration of the views of others.

Why is that important?

Life presents everyone with choices, often difficult and sometimes unpleasant. When faced with such choices, each one of us has a fundamental alternative - to think for oneself and do what that tells us is best, or to be (relatively) mentally passive and simply do what others do or think should be done.

But to develop one's own thinking ability, to exercise individual choice is to practice the basic skill that allows determining what is best. You can not become an athlete by watching others run, you must get on the track and use your own legs.

Sometimes that process will go astray. Sometimes heeding the advice of wiser or more knowledgeable and experienced people - parents, in many cases - would have indeed produced the best result. But as the child matures, the process of individuation is important if the results are to be a healthy person, not just a passive robot fortunate enough to have good advisors.

Advice from others can be enormously helpful to any person at any age. But at a certain point in the process, the decision to do this rather than that is presented to everyone. And, just like the athlete who never trains, performance in that task is affected by whether the person has done any independent exercise, or just drifted along.

It's possible to make a mistake when you don't give enough weight to the views of others, particularly those more experienced and thoughtful. But you retain the ability to correct your mistakes much more readily if you've made a practice of thinking for yourself.

Parents find it difficult to know when to let a maturing person make mistakes that they - with greater insight - can see will turn out badly. The desire to protect them is understandable and the frustration from being ignored even more so. But the most important task facing any parent is to encourage the healthy development of their child.

Sooner than we think that individual will be faced with the necessity of making decisions that are much more important. The practice they get exercising their faculties is essential to meeting those challenges.

Going Through Your Child's First Day of School

2007-12-27T14:04:00.000-08:00

For children who have attended preschool, beginning school will involve less of a transition than for those who have not. But in either case, school is typically quite different from preschool. Added to that is the unfortunate fact that many public schools are often - whether through lack of funding, bureaucratic bungling, bad philosophy or factors outside their control - far less than ideal places to educate children.

But whether parents are enrolling the child in a good public school or private school, there are many similar new factors parents will do well to prepare for.

Some children... and parents too, will naturally experience a certain amount of separation anxiety. One effective way to deal with this is to avoid the false alternative of 'Stiff upper lip' versus 'Yes, isn't it horrible'. Children are neither soldiers nor made of Jello.

An honest recognition that new experiences can be difficult, without over-dramatizing, is healthy. Children should be helped to see that the new environment isn't threatening, but without dismissing their valid concerns.

Meeting the teacher before the first day of school is extremely helpful. Introducing the child to a new adult, one whose goal is to help them develop, with the parent present helps everyone relax. Many schools will hold special events to do just that, but don't expect to have a long period alone with the teacher. They often have many parent-child groups to meet.

Explaining to the child that attending school is a natural, indeed an exciting, part of growing up will help prepare them for the experience. Most children are naturally curious. Making school a continuation of the home process of developing the child's mind and confidence by exploring the world will help school seem less strange.

Most schools will assign some form of very simple homework before long. Here again, parents can help avoid any anxiety that may occur in the face of this new challenge by making it not new. Giving the child age-appropriate tasks to complete before school begins helps build confidence, especially when the parent demonstrates eagerness to help overcome the humps.

Beware of giving too much aid or too much comfort, though. Allowing the child to experience difficulty, and seeing first hand that they are competent to meet the challenge, creates those early self-esteem building blocks. Shielding a child from any and all possible sources of discomfort is both unrealistic and harmful to the child.

Demonstrating excessive parental concern can inadvertently suggest to the child that there is something real to be feared in the new environment. That's contrary to the message the parent wants to convey.

More fundamentally, every aspect of human development needs some kind of challenge to build strength. That's true not only for muscles and bones, but for mind and emotions as well. When those challenges are within the reach of the child's real potential - given his or her individual nature - confidence and intellectual capacity grow simultaneously.

What's so funny?

2007-12-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

Being a baby, even a simple sound tickles you and make you laugh. Look at this baby laughing his heart out. So pure, so happy... He's just adorable!

Communicating With Your Child

2007-12-24T13:56:00.000-08:00

Few subjects in parenting are as fundamental, or as important, as communication. Humans function so much by language, whether implicit or explicit, that learning how to communicate effectively affects virtually every other sphere of family relations.

But developing good strategies for good communication, based on sound ideas, is extremely complicated. Individuals differ so widely in age, temperament and circumstances that outlining a 'one size fits all' approach is guaranteed to fail at the outset.

Does that mean that every parent has to start from scratch and simply improvise for 20 years? Fortunately, no. Both cognitive studies and generations of experience have shown that some methods do work better than others.

One essential element is suggested in the short list above. Since individuals differ in those ways and so many more, a method that accepts that fundamental fact has a better chance of producing healthy results.

An effective communication approach between parent and child will start with openly recognizing facts. Just as good communication between adults requires honesty, so will that between parent and child. Children, as any parent knows, are very intuitive. They sense very quickly when they are being lied to.

That doesn't imply that parents must, or should, be so frank as to answer fully every question put to them. Parents are individuals too and are entitled to a sphere that respects their privacy.

How much to share, and in what manner, will take into account the individual child's age and level of genuine interest. For example, when communicating 'lessons' about appropriate behavior with respect to other people's property, picking the time and place is helpful.

Using a shared experience, such as a TV program being watched or something seen while on a joint shopping trip, can be a good springboard. At the same time, approaching the talk in a way that makes it a discussion rather than a lecture will benefit both parent and child.

The child sees that his or her viewpoint is respected while they benefit from the experience and ability to articulate that the parent has in greater abundance. Despite their occasional bravado, children know they don't know as much as adults and look to them for input. When that input is delivered in a respectful, honest manner most children will respond appropriately most of the time - provided the approach is followed consistently.

Children are also very intuitive about sensing hypocrisy and observant about any inconsistency between 'the rules' and the parent's behavior. Sometimes embarrassingly so!

Part of that process involves being willing to listen attentively and fully to the child's point of view. Most parents know the delight of hearing the wisdom 'out of the mouths of babes' that children can exhibit. The child's honest appraisal of what they observe is often insightful and refreshing.

Echoing back, in the parent's own words, what the child has said will help both parties. The child observes that they have been listened to, while at the same time gaining additional insight from the experience of the parent. The parent gains the deep satisfaction of observing his or her child develop and the joy of interacting with an individual who is immensely important to them.

One form of this is sometimes called the 'stop, look and listen' approach. It entails - when feasible - stopping what the parent is doing, looking directly at the child and listening completely without interruption before responding.

It helps the child practice communication in an atmosphere of respect and allows the parent to get hugely important information about what their child is attending to and how he or she is processing that experience.

The phrase is overworked, but this is one approach that is truly a win-win situation.

When Your Child is Grieving

2007-12-23T13:31:00.000-08:00

All parents wish they could shelter their child from grief. No one wants a child, with limited experience and understanding, to have to suffer through the loss of a beloved dog or the death of a treasured parent or grandparent.

But real life does include the possibility of such things and children grow up healthiest when they're taught to face reality. How they confront facts can be influenced, positively or negatively, by what they observe from their parents, along with their parents words.

Feelings of sadness at the loss of an important value is a natural, even healthy, reaction. Degrees and style will both vary, of course. But the extremes of stoical 'stiff upper lip' or severe, long-term depression may signal an unhealthy message to children.

Reactions to loss from children will naturally vary with age. Very young children are rarely able to grasp the permanence or even the disvalue of the loss. Children from around 5-10 will look carefully to parents as a mirror for their own feelings. Older children may even rebel against painful feelings and claim not to feel sadness.

In every case, it's helpful for parents to allow children to honestly acknowledge any feelings they have. They should not be made to feel guilty for spontaneous feelings.

Along with age differences, variations in inborn temperament and (externally influenced or self-)developed personality among individuals will produce a range of reactions. Any initial feelings are legitimate and generally healthy.

A healthy personality gradually passes through those feelings. Life brings new values, along with the recognition that even when one irreplaceable value is lost, not all values are thereby lost.

Individuals will vary in how long they take to undergo the process. Some lingering feelings may last months or years. But there is a large difference between sober reflection and depression. Helping children to see value in the former and to avoid the latter will require inculcating realism.

The risk of great loss is inherent in living. Parents, too, will differ in how they react when that risk becomes fact. When they demonstrate an attitude that displays to the child an honest evaluation of the loss, they do their child a service. When they help the child to experience those feelings without guilt or repression they are benefiting their child.

But parents can inadvertently disrupt or retard the return to a normal, self-confident approach to daily living by embracing the false alternatives of too lightly dismissing the loss and excessive emphasis on it.

Dismissing the loss, which the child may see as significant, can lead to repression. The child disowns feelings he or she naturally has. Alternatively, he or she may learn to attach little or no value to any life, even those close to them. The attendant negative consequences are obvious.

Alternatively, when the parent fails to move through the feelings, the child may feel guilty at their naturally-paced recovery. Or, they may feel inclined to be 'stuck' as the parent is. Neither is helpful to parent or child.

It is during such periods of sadness and grief that it is hardest to retain the outlook that life still offers the possibility of significant values. But it is also the time when that realization is most needed, for the parent's sake and that of the child.

Punishing Your Kids

2007-12-21T05:06:00.000-08:00

In parenting circles, the word 'punishment' often brings to mind 'corporeal punishment' - spanking, slapping or other forms of physical action. One can agree that such behavior is counter-productive in rearing a healthy child, while at the same time avoiding the false alternative of excessive permissiveness.

In life, both children and adults are 'punished' for bad behavior or failing to obtain a certain standard. Poor performance on a test leads to the punishment of a low score. Poor performance at work leads to lower raises, delayed promotions and other results.

Punishment, in the proper sense, is simply one side of the coin of justice. Justice or fairness, entails giving of the deserved, whether good or unpleasant. Children, like adults, have a healthy self-interest in seeing that justice is enacted.

As a result, it can be a net positive benefit to children to see that their actions have consequences - even if, temporarily, those consequences are painful. Both nature and social arrangements require that certain actions be taken to achieve values. When those actions are destructive of positive values, or fail to achieve them, the logical consequences are undesirable.

As part of the learning and maturation process, not shielding children from the logical effects of their behavior results in absorbing those lessons in relatively mild form. Children too, need to learn to relate cause and effect, both in natural actions and in social circumstances. They need to connect choices to values and fairness.

There are several aspects of this approach that are essential to achieving positive results. First and foremost among them is being objective, followed closely by a sense of proportion.

Objectivity does not mean value or emotional neutrality. It simply means attending to the facts and evaluating them reasonably. As every parent knows, this is easier said than done.

But, just as courts of law have to make an effort to sort fact from fiction, so finding out what actually occurred - and responding appropriately - requires careful thought, maturity and a commitment to being fair.

Mother and her 10 year-old child have just had an argument. A moment later, the child enters the kitchen and pours him or herself a glass of milk. From the other room, Mom hears the crashing of glass on the floor. Mom enters to find milk spilled on the floor, a sugar bowl upturned and a child stomping its feet.

Was the child negligent? Was the child hasty because of its anger? Once the milk had spilled, was the sugar bowl dumped over in frustration or was that part of what was a multi-part accident?

Already upset over the just-past argument, it will be a real challenge for the mother to attain objectivity - to get the facts and draw the correct conclusion, then take the appropriate action.

Here there are several alternatives. Mom can react in rage, order the child out of the kitchen or angrily toss down a wet towel and demand the child clean up the mess. Or, she can take a deep breath, sweep up the glass and begin to ask questions.

When she takes the latter approach, she quickly finds that in pouring the milk, the child brushed a hand up against the hot coffee pot. They clean up the mess together and Mom pours the child another glass of milk while they talk.

Even in clear circumstances where a definite bad behavior has been willfully engaged in, it's possible to err if a sense of proportion is ignored.

Repeatedly dismissing or ignoring bad behavior teaches many incorrect lessons and encourages the development of adults without a sense of right and wrong. But not every wrong action is serious. Like most things, there are degrees.

Remaining objective and fair will help parents arrive at responses that are proportional to the actual harm done. In the middle of an angry exchange, this is especially difficult to do. Parents will benefit themselves and the child by deferring 'sentencing' until they have regained self-control.

This benefits the child in two ways. In the first instance, they receive a punishment that is appropriate to the action they initiated. Even though unpleasant, they observe that fairness is at work. At the same time, they see that mature self-control is possible and that outcomes are more beneficial to both parties when reason isn't swamped by emotion.

Jessica Alba is Pregnant

2007-12-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

Jessica Alba's rep, Brad Cafarelli has confirmed that our Fantastic Four's babe is indeed pregnant. She and her boyfriend, Cash Warren are expecting their baby around late spring and early summer. No baby bump pictures yet though since it's new.

Wow! For some reason, I'd never expected that Jessica Alba will be a mommy anytime soon. But seems like pregnancy is the in thing now a day, huh? Whatever it is, their baby going to be cute because Jessica Alba is very pretty!

How to Handle Sibling Rivalry

2007-12-19T23:25:00.000-08:00

Sibling rivalry - conflict between and among brothers and sisters - can take all the forms that occur among adults: loud arguments, sports competition, physical fights, property destruction, etc. As the list suggests, some forms will require parental intervention, while others may be safely left to the kids to work out for themselves.

The first key element in helping brothers and sisters resolve conflicts is to use what is beneficial from adult life, times ten. Children, of all ages above about three or so, are keenly sensitive to issues of justice and fairness.

Like adults, some children will engage in bad behavior based on wrong choices. Rarely do they have the awareness or experience of the moral dimension that adults are capable of, but neither are they (over a certain age) completely unaware of the distinction between right and wrong.

How the adult helps them clarify those issues will play a large part in how they develop.

Kids can engage in as many kinds of conflict as adults. Not having full responsibility for their choices, they need the guidance of adults if those conflicts are to be turned to advantage and not simply be a dead loss.

The importance of respect for the safety, property and individual choice of others can serve as a good basis for guiding adults in resolving their children's conflicts. Just as in the larger society around them, kids can learn from an early age that there are boundaries no one may reasonably cross.

By the same token, just as in adult interactions, there are some conflicts that it is simply best to ignore, allowing the two parties to resolve on their own. Even children need the space to express thoughts and emotions, and the freedom to take actions based on choices - provided those choices don't cross the line into physical harm or property destruction.

Naturally, no child younger than a teen can be expected to exhibit the impulse control, nor the intellectual understanding we expect of adults. But avoiding the false alternative of 'well, kids will be kids' is equally desirable, if the child is to grow into a mature, healthy adult.

As a case in point, a recent news program carried a story about 'fight clubs' - loosely organized (largely male) clubs whose members engaged in physical fights that went well beyond ordinary teen rough housing. The mother of one member who had recently been seriously injured excused her knowledge of the activities by declaring that 'boys will be boys'. Such casual responses quickly evolve to 'criminals will be criminals'.

Parents can avoid those results by exploring early on in their children's lives the roots of conflicts between and among brothers and sisters. Many of the same basic factors that play out in adult rivalry are present from an early age.

Failure to focus on reality over indulgence in whims, difficulty in impulse control or to accept payment for achieving longer term goals by foregoing immediate rewards and many other shortcomings of 'emotional intelligence' are often at the root of such conflicts.

It isn't necessary to be harsh or physical, when teaching children that honesty, respect for others and self-control are positive values. Guiding the child to understand that such things are actually in the child's long-term self-interest will make the child's nature your ally.

The best way to start demonstrating that is by allowing the child to see that the parents themselves resolve differences in just that way.

Fertility Factors

2007-12-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

As many couples know, becoming pregnant is not simply a matter of having intercourse near a selected date. Fewer than two-thirds of couples trying to conceive succeed within six months. Fortunately, 90% of women trying to get pregnant do so within 18 months.

There are dozens of factors that affect the odds of conception, some more important than others.

Caffeine intake does affect fertility for both men and women. Brewed coffee has between 100-300 mg of caffeine, while cappucino has between 300-400 mg and decaf (not surprisingly) has only 1-8 mg. Those concerned that caffeine might be an issue should limit themselves to no more than two cups per day.

Conditions in both men and women are about equally likely to be the reason pregnancy doesn't occur.

A small percentage of men have low sperm motility, a condition in which sperm cells don't actively move enough to make the trip up to the egg. Caffeine or excessive alcohol consumption can have some small effect on this, but in general the condition is either genetic or a temporary condition due to disease.

Or, a man may have a low sperm count, though again this is true of fewer than 10%. Heavy alcohol use can be a factor, but here again it's generally the result of inheritance or recent illness. In some cases this is due, for example, to high fever.

That's the true part of the statement that heat causes low sperm counts. This is temporary, though. The mythical part of the 'heat produces low sperm count' is the belief that hot tubs or underwear affects sperm count. The myth grew out of common laboratory observations that high temperature reduces sperm count in tests. But the temperature required is much higher than the shift produced by wearing jockey shorts or other lifestyle choices.

Fertility odds can be affected by issues women may experience, as well. 'Infertility' is often a matter of degrees. Very few women are completely infertile. For some women, the uterine environment causes implantation to be less likely. Endometriosis, a condition in which tissue from the uterine lining grows outside the uterus, is responsible for about 15% of low female fertility. Irregular ovulation is a problem for others. In about 20% of low fertility cases, some issue with the fallopian tubes is responsible.

For some, it's simply a matter of keeping better track of the menstrual cycle. Maintaining an accurate chart of basal body temperature and monthly events can help. They should be recorded at least once daily, preferably twice - once in the morning, once in the evening.

Being considerably overweight reduces a woman's chances of pregnancy, since it affects ovulation and overall hormonal factors. Body fat levels 10-15% over the normal range produces excess estrogen, which affects fertility. Hormonal imbalances in general, producing an irregular cycle or very heavy periods, can shift the odds. Anti-depressant and other medications can affect female fertility, as does heavy tobacco or alcohol consumption.

For those cases where the condition is not temporary, fertility treatments are an option. Most physicians won't intervene, however, unless the couple has been trying natural methods for at least 18 months. Fertility treatments themselves are not foolproof, nor are they entirely without risk.

If you've been trying to become pregnant for over a year without success, your first best course of action is to consult a physician.

Parenting a Difficult Child

2007-12-17T10:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a child labeled 'difficult' is just expressing a healthy need for independence. But in other cases, the label is actually too mild. Adults can be violent, irresponsible, indifferent to the harm they do others and typically that behavior begins in childhood.

Not all such children are potential criminals, but they share some of the characteristics - refusal to fully accept reality, poor impulse control, lack of empathy, disrespect for the rights of others and a range of destructive behavior against people, animals and property.

Usually the signs are all too clear to parents - refusal to accept limits or take instruction, shouting, temper tantrums and sometimes hitting siblings or even parents. Sometimes the condition is influenced by genetic and hormonal factors - as in Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD or even autism. It can be magnified by stressful factors in the environment.

Some temperaments are natural, such as extreme sensitivity to stimuli, some moods can be brought on by new elements such as a new child in the home. Sometimes, as with adults, it's simply a choice to misbehave.

Sorting out all these complex factors is one of the parent's toughest jobs. Testing may help. It can be useful to get a good diagnosis, but take what you hear with a grain of salt. Consult more than one specialist when possible. There is a lot of junk science in child development.

But whatever the causes, the parent will need to exercise even more than normal patience to deal with the child's behavior. Frustration and anger are normal, but only add to an already difficult situation.

Dealing with the child and its behavior can range from simple time outs to distraction to some drug therapy (in extreme cases). When a child misbehaves and refuses to listen, removing a wanted toy or restraining a desired activity can be helpful. It should be accompanied by clear and firm expressions of the reasons for the actions. That helps the child associate its unwanted behavior with the consequences.

Physical punishment rarely helps, but a tap on the hand is hardly abuse. Parents should avoid feeling guilty, as if they caused the behavior. There are abusive parents, but these are not the ones who are seeking to understand and mold their child's actions toward more healthy expressions.

Be prepared to alter the environment. It may be necessary in some cases to not have pets in the house and siblings should be protected from any bad behavior. Often, with patience and the employment of standard techniques, the child's behavior can be altered, sometimes dramatically.

Dealing with difficult children is, by definition, difficult. But with patience and training both parents and children can achieve satisfying results.

Working Out Disagreements Between Parents

2007-12-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's surprising that the divorce rate isn't actually higher than it is (about 46% in the U.S.). Assuming it isn't just inertia on the part of the 54%, it's a tribute to the willingness of so many couples to work out their differences.

Fortunately, most parents will agree on one thing: the children should not be put in the middle of these conflicts. Avoiding that result requires skill, maturity, tact and compromise.

To work out reasonably consistent policies to cover the thousands of different real-life experiences of family life requires careful thought. It also takes a willingness to be frank about what each partner wants and views as fair. It requires buckets of honesty.

Each parent needs to be willing to face reality and be reasonable. That's difficult to do in states of high emotion and about subjects that are important like those involving how to raise children. Just as in society in general, when one party simply bulls another to achieve a short-term gain the result is frustration, injured feelings and often a violation of simple justice.

A willingness to recognize, despite anger or irritation, that the other party has a valid point of view and a vested interest in the outcome, requires considerable objectivity. But objectivity doesn't have to mean emotional or value neutrality, simply a willingness to see things as they are.

One thing that will help encourage that objectivity is the realization that each party has an equal stake in the larger issue - the welfare of the child.

That shared interest can form the basis of a mutual effort to discuss different evaluations, background that may be exerting biasing factors and other barriers to a satisfactory arrangement. But when each party makes a sincere effort (or more accurately, repeated efforts), such resolutions are possible.

Successful marriages are fundamentally those in which each partner genuinely admires and cares for the other. That forms the basis of respect that children both observe and absorb over time. That respect and admiration makes it possible to see the larger picture and longer-term goal - a compromise that doesn't simply leave both parties exhausted or unfulfilled.

Mature parents will ultimately realize that no single disagreement is likely to be so important that it's worth harming the happiness of the family members. You don't burn the house down because you don't like the color of the drapes. Respectful parents will see that one may get his or her way this time, but the next time the partners point of view will prevail.

Few concrete objects or circumstances are so important that no compromise is possible. What time to have dinner, or how clean the house should be, or what time the child should be home from outdoor activities, or even what college to attend... the list is endless. But only in the rarest of cases is it overwhelmingly important that one point of view must prevail for all time.

In every case listed, and many more, it's healthy to try one person's preference, then experiment with another if the results are less than satisfactory. Viewing the process as ongoing allows each parent to feel his or her values are respected.

The child benefits doubly from this. He or she gains the best possible outcome, discovered by experience. The child also sees that Mom and Dad can disagree while still respecting one another's points of view. The child sees honesty and reason at work in an atmosphere of admiration and love. The latter may well be the best lesson of all.

Helping Your Kids to Deal With Your Divorce

2007-12-16T05:11:00.000-08:00

Few things in the life of a family are as traumatic as when it alters through divorce. Each individual involved is often confused, angry, feeling betrayed and uncertain about what comes next.

Making the transition even more difficult, there will be many practical changes that affect both parents and children. Living arrangements will alter, incomes may well change and there will often now be only one adult to take on both work and home responsibilities. Dealing with those common and real-life issues is doubly difficult when emotions are running high.

Though seldom is the process painless, there are many things that can ease the transition for children.

Parents engaged in divorce proceedings will understandably be angry with one another. Pretending it isn't so isn't helpful to them or to their children. But anger can be present, and honestly expressed, without controlling every action.

It should be made clear, in age-appropriate terms, that the anger isn't caused by nor directed at the children. Nor should the anger one spouse feels for another be allowed to spill over into using children as bargaining chips or instruments of revenge.

Disagreements will arise over money, housing, child custody and support, and a host of other thorny issues. These should all be handled with children out of earshot whenever possible. Depending on the age of the children involved, it can be helpful to ask them what they would like to see happen. Most will just wish the divorce wasn't happening. But children can be realistic, too.

Allowing children to express their feelings and wishes, even when those wishes can't or shouldn't be fulfilled, will give them a sense of being understood. To the extent possible, children also need some sense of control over their environment. Allowing them to arrange things as they like in new circumstances is one small way this need can be met.

It's essential that parents make clear that the divorce is the result of unresolvable issues between the parents, and has nothing to do with any actions of the child. It's equally important that they be helped to understand that no change of behavior they make can reverse the decision.

After new living arrangements are made and custody issues (at least temporarily) settled, parents need to ensure that children have everything they need at both locations. A valued object at each house can help them feel more at home no matter where they are.

It's also important that children be allowed to express disappointment, anger and other 'negative' feelings without reproach or denial. Seldom are such feelings permanent in children. But it isn't helpful to tell them, however expressed, that 'You don't really mean that'. Typically, at least for that moment, they do indeed feel that way.

If the divorce, for at least a while, results in single parenthood, there are new challenges to be met. But those circumstances can offer new opportunities, as well. The absence of negatives - loud arguments, angry silences, etc - can in itself be an immediate benefit to the child. Rules and guidance can be established without the sometimes bitter debates that parents nearing divorce engage in.

Many children go through parental divorce, increasingly so since the 1970s. Studies show that, if the adults do their best to meet the difficulties maturely and with the child's best interests in mind, children do not necessarily suffer long-term negative consequences.

And, for nearly all parents, that surely is among their highest goals.

The "Don't Talk to Strangers" Lesson

2007-12-16T05:07:00.000-08:00

Parents understandably want to do everything possible to protect their children from harm. Today, that often includes - some would say is first and foremost - teaching them to be wary of others. Parents will often instill a (healthy, they would argue) fear of others, along with providing practical tips on staying safe.

While the attitude is understandable, in light of the many news stories to which they are exposed, it's possible for parents to go overboard and do harm along with the good.

Childhood attitudes about other people tend to persist into adulthood. It's a rare individual who is sufficiently enlightened that they can entirely erase incorrect views of others learned early in life. As a result, parents - while taking reasonable precautions against real risks - will want to carefully consider the extent and manner of their warnings about strangers.

The first difficulty parents encounter, though they are sometimes unaware of it, is the difference in the meaning of 'stranger' for the parent and the child. To a child, the person behind the counter at a local store may not be a stranger. They've seen Mom talk to him many times.

Still, children are often capable of finer distinctions than adults give them credit for. They can, beyond the age of three or so, be taught that looks alone don't define who is or isn't a stranger. Just because the elderly man looks 'nice' doesn't make him not a stranger.

Also, they can be taught that there are circumstances where seeking the aid of a stranger is safe and reasonable. If they become separated from the parent in the library, the teenager wearing an employee badge and pushing a cart of books who directs them to the front desk shouldn't necessarily be regarded fearfully.

Parents are right to be concerned, but they should also try to be objective. Objective does not mean being emotionally or value neutral. It simply means assessing facts honestly and without bias.

Some relevant facts:

Most child abductions and harm originate from someone familiar to the child - a male relative or neighbor.
Only a very small percentage of children are abducted or harmed by strangers.
Those abducted or harmed tend more often to be children who display fear or lack of confidence when approached by strangers. Also, those who travel alone are more at risk.

Good data is difficult to obtain, owing to an array of different definitions of criminal abduction. Approx. 58,000 children per year are abducted by non-family members. Most are returned within 24 hours. That's a horrifying tragedy for those parents, but it does mean the odds are low.

However, it's understood that since the consequences can be so severe, parents will want to take precautions even against this unlikely event.

Long term harm to a person's view of others can result from succumbing to media-induced paranoia. There are several, reasonable precautions parents often learn in order to protect their children. Teaching children to travel in groups, to stay at arms length when a person appears mistrustful, to run away and/or say 'NO!' loudly and continually when a stranger attempts to lead them away and other common practices are healthy and reasonable.

At the same time, parents should attempt to instill a sense of confidence in dealing with the world - a world that includes strangers. The alternative risks raising children who have never been harmed to have the same fear as those who have.

Disciplining Your Children

2007-12-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

The word 'discipline' often brings to mind images of harsh punishment, unreasonable restrictions and an approach to parenting that is cold and insensitive. As a result, many parents will accept the false alternative of being excessively permissive.

Much of that dilemma has been addressed in recent decades by recognizing that there is, in fact, a third alternative. This alternative approach recognizes the facts that are universal about developing humans, while providing room for individual variation.

All individuals have capacities that develop over time. Wise parents will therefore recognize that what is appropriate with a two-year old is ineffective with a teen and vice versa.

To make the point in an exaggerated form, it's pointless to explain in detail to a two-year old that he or she is failing to respect the property rights of a sibling by forcibly snatching away a wanted toy. Similarly, it's ineffective to force a teen to endure a time-out or to redirect their behavior away from an inappropriate action.

The basic principle underlying 'age appropriate discipline' is this: recognize the actual nature of the person in front of you when developing a rule or response. That entails much more than simply acknowledging the child's age, though that is one aspect of the principle.

It means accounting for intelligence level, ability to process what they are told properly, temperament and physical ability. Never ask a child to comply with guidance they can not, in fact, follow. Naturally, determining what they actually can and can't understand or do isn't always an easy task.

There is a condition, for example, similar to dyslexia. Upon hearing speech the child with this disability will often reverse sentence meaning or have other forms of difficulty processing spoken sentences. They may or may not have actual reading dyslexia, as well. Though rare, it's an extreme example of many children's difficulties in actually understanding what is being required of them.

That can lead to parental frustration if parents conclude that the child is willfully ignoring what he or she is being told. That sometimes is the case, of course.

The cause of that disability, though, may lie less with the child and more with the parent. Pay careful attention to what you've actually said, and the manner in which it is conveyed. It's difficult to be clear and consistent when you're angry, for example.

Take a few seconds, or longer if needed, to cool down. Leave the room if necessary, or look away from the child. Not only will this help the parent regain his or her self-control, it shows the child that it isn't necessary or inevitable that emotion has to swamp reason. It shows the child that, with maturity, it's possible to control impulses to produce a positive outcome from a bad situation.

That in itself is a highly valuable discipline lesson since, ultimately and in the long run, all discipline is self-discipline. After all, as every parent has observed, children are individuals and - no matter what approach to discipline is taken - they will make their own decisions. Avoid perpetual frustration by recognizing that, like adults, children have free will.

Helping them to see the outcomes of those decisions, by reason and respect, is the best you can do for yourself and your child.

Violet Affleck, the cutest little thing!

2007-12-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Garner, apart from a star, she's also a mom to the cutest little girl in world! I mean, look at those pictures above. Don't you just want to pinch that adorable looking face? Baby Violet is looking more and more like mommy there.

In a recent interview, daddy, Ben Affleck with the Hello! magazine called Violet "the best thing that ever happened to me". "She is happy as hell and talks like crazy."

Teaching Your Children to Be Responsible

2007-12-12T10:26:00.000-08:00

Teaching responsibility is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. It is here that parents most often worry about the dilemma of stifling individual choice versus inculcating values and habits that lead to appropriate behavior.

The political parallel of that dilemma is the reasonable desire for maximum individual freedom, but the need that arises to respect the rights of others. The way out of the dilemma is to recognize that healthy self-interest and respect for others not only do not conflict but reinforce one another.

Being 'responsible' in the most fundamental sense of that term means 'being the cause of or the agent that produced some effect'. Recognizing that the causes we initiate lead to good or bad consequences is part of a view of responsibility called 'logical consequences'.

Connecting the child's chosen actions with consequences for the child allows him or her to make the connection by choice, rather than being imposed from the outside. When that is done, the connection has a much greater tendency to 'stick', while at the same time being viewed as fair and reasonable, since it was chosen rather than forced.

Extreme examples sometimes best help clarify the principle involved. A teen flirting with drug use might be 'scared straight' by being exposed to the real-life consequences that habitual drug users invariably experience: bad health, jail, etc.

But one can use the idea in much less serious circumstances. Most individuals past the age of 5 or so grasp that being treated the same as others in similar circumstances is part of the essence of fairness.

This insight helps the parent show the child that failing to accept responsibility for, say, cleaning the room or getting ready for school on time inconveniences parents. Connecting the refusal to study with the likelihood of a bad grade is another common example.

Removal of privileges for failure to take responsibility is rarely greeted cheerfully, but provided the consequences are seen as fair most children will accept them and learn the proper lesson.

One key to successfully implementing this strategy is to ensure that the connection between cause and consequences is something the child can grasp at his or her level of development. It's pointless to tell a five-year-old that failing to practice pitching two hours per day will keep them out of the Major Leagues.

On the other hand, connecting the refusal to study diligently with the failure to get into a desired college - and the attendant long-term consequences - is perfectly appropriate for a teen in High School.

Parents should keep in mind, however, that rarely are consequences life-threatening or irreversible.

A teen that chooses not to exert the effort to get good grades one semester is unlikely to be damaged for life. There are many good schools besides Princeton and Stanford that do not require perfect grades.

Similarly, unless the child is in immediate physical danger it's sometimes the case that doing nothing is (at least temporarily) the best approach. Sometimes allowing that extra bit of freedom to, say, not clean up the room today or skip chores, leads to a child who appreciates the breathing space. Even adults get vacations.

The highest probability of success will come from recognizing that children, like adults, have free will. Studies show that the amount of influence parents can exert over children is limited. Setting reasonable expectations, then being firm (but not bullying) is often the best one can do.

Remember, you are raising a person with the capacity to think, an individual in whom you hope to encourage self-responsibility. A duty-driven robot is an unhealthy individual just as much as is an out of control, self-indulgent whim-worshiper.

Jennifer Lopez is pregnant with twins?

2007-12-12T10:20:00.001-08:00

Jennifer Lopez is pregnant and the word is that she’s due to give birth on spring. The rumor is she is expecting twins. Well, twins or not, she doesn’t seem to have any problem performing and dancing at all!

Roberto Cavalli is designing her outfits and he admitted that it’s a bit hard for him because she’s getting bigger and bigger and he constantly has to alter her gowns to accommodate her figure. How nice it is to have an international designer to take care of your wardrobe and make sure that it’ll fit you perfectly, huh?

The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Parent

2007-12-11T22:36:00.003-08:00

Since roughly 1970, approximately 20-30% of children live in single parent homes. The number varies from study to study and country to country. More of those are female than male, but again the numbers vary substantially from one study to the next. Whatever the sex of the parent, parenting alone raises some unique challenges.

Since most single parents continue to work, many of the basic difficulties involved are practical ones: how to find and afford a sitter or day-care, what to do when having to work late or weekends, how to arrange shopping, etc.

Single parents find all manner of creative arrangements for meeting these difficulties. Many rely on older children to care for younger ones, while the younger ones often take on more responsibilities than other children in their age group. Many rely on friends and relatives. Some simply leave the child home alone for extended periods.

But beyond the practical arrangements, there are many parenting issues of a more value-oriented or psychological nature that can be equally or more daunting. Single parents will more often second guess their actions, not having a spouse to bounce ideas off of.

Many find dealing with children of the opposite sex a special challenge. Single parents will often find it difficult to know how to guide a child of the opposite sex, not having a spouse to consult with about his or her childhood experiences. Some of that gap can be filled by discussions with grown siblings, however.

But single parenthood can have advantages, even in the light of difficult circumstances. The absence of a partner means the absence of sometimes irrational and vehement arguments that the child would observe. Establishing parenting rules and guidelines is more straightforward for the single parent, since there is no partner to consult or with whom to debate.

Several recent studies point to other positive - or at least the absence of negative - aspects of single parenthood. For those single parents with adequate incomes, there is no observed ill-effect of the single parent home on a child's educational or personality development.

Indeed, being raised in a single parent home often makes children more mature and self-responsible at a younger age. Many benefit from the increased attention that a single parent will often bestow in the absence of a spouse.

Being raised in a single parent home may have been a social stigma in previous generations, but those attitudes are largely gone. Some now regard the situation as more 'contemporary' or even 'hip'.

Single parents can do much to ease their own minds by paying close attention to observable behaviors to monitor their children.

Pre-teens who become withdrawn may be suffering from the effects of parental divorce or death. Children will often be reluctant to discuss their feelings on these subjects and much patience may be required to draw them out.

Teens left alone at home for long periods may be unduly influenced by peers. That can often lead to unwanted behavior. While most parents will want to respect their teen's privacy, watching for early tell-tale signs of drug use or other harmful behavior will save everyone much grief later on.

Single parents have a unique opportunity to influence their child for good or ill, without the counterbalance of another parent. Fortunately, many children raised in a single parent home will report with admiration the extra effort required and made by their single parent Mom or Dad. You can be one of them.

Being a Father

2007-12-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

Few things have changed so radically in the last 100 years as the view of a father's role in parenting.

Once, it was the Victorian view of 'rarely-seen law-giver'. Then the Freudian influenced 'not a terribly important factor' became dominant. That was gradually replaced with the 1950s 'wise breadwinner'. Then came the social revolution of the 1960s, which taught that fathers were little more than sperm donors. Now there's the contemporary, splintered view that encompasses a dozen conflicting outlooks.

Sorting out a better view, therefore, will have to involve getting back to basics and asking: "What are fathers for?", "What's the effect of their presence or absence?", and "What actual influence do they have?" Complex and difficult questions, to be sure.

Many broad-based studies concur on one point: kids raised without fathers have a much higher incidence of bad outcomes - poor scholastic performance, violent activities, drug use and criminal convictions.

What to conclude from that can be problematic.

Some point to the economic facts accompanying those fatherless households. Others point to more psychological or ethical factors. Whatever the root cause, and likely there are many, the conclusion remains: kids need dads in order to get the best chance in life.

Of course, being a father and being a good father are not the same thing. Studies and common experience suggest that merely supplying funds for food and shelter, helpful as those are, is just the beginning of paternal input to a good outcome.

Fathers, whether in single-parent homes or in two-parent, dual gender homes, are still looked to as guidance givers. Female children often look to fathers for a sense of protection, and as an alternative voice in conflicts with the mother. Young males will be influenced by their father when evaluating their own identities.

In two-parent, dual gender homes fathers can benefit children of both sexes by, among other things, demonstrating how decisions are made and how they interact with the mother.

Both male and female children get clues about 'normal' parental roles when they observe how the father acts when choices are being considered. Do they typically defer certain categories of choices to the mother? (Diet, bedtime, household chores) Do they discuss differences calmly, or do they loudly proclaim male authority?

These, along with a wide variety of other common experiences, help shape the children's views of interactions among the sexes.

Even during times other than joint decision-making, fathers influence children's views of adults and the world. Different fathers can display very different basic approaches to problem solving, for example. One is confident, objective, or displays a sense of the excitement of discovery and success. That's a very different outlook from the man who shows resentment, fear and self-doubt, or hostility at the need to overcome life's challenges.

Children observe fathers in these, and numerous other, settings. What they observe influences their views much more than what is explicitly said or preached. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but real experience offers volumes.

Active Listening Helps You Communicate With Your Kids

2007-12-10T01:38:00.000-08:00

A major part of good communication between parent and child is active listening. But, what is ACTIVE listening? It means not merely staring at the child while he or she talks, but actively taking in what is said and exploring its meaning.

The mechanics of active listening are simple, though a parent may need to remind him or herself of them when interrupted during a busy day.

Focus on the child's eyes, but keep aware of the child's posture and movements, tone, rhythm and other physical factors. Stifle - for a few moments, at least - the urge to immediately respond with a 'quick fix' or piece of advice. Often, the goal isn't problem resolution as much as simply hearing what the child has to say. Like adults, children want to be heard.

With active listening a parent is positioning him or herself to carry out another important aspect of communication: echoing back what has been said. But 'echoing' doesn't mean 'parroting'. In order to truly hear, you have to engage the brain, not just the ears. Reflecting back what has been said, in the parents own words, demonstrates that not only has the child been heard, but - more importantly - understood.

Sympathy may or may not be part of the equation. A parent does not have to feel obligated to be sympathetic to a child's expression of a desire to punch a sibling. But neither should one be immediately dismissive of any expression of 'negative' thoughts or feelings. Responses such as 'You don't really mean that' may be true and honest, but they are not always helpful.

It isn't necessary to be morally or emotionally neutral, simply objective. Before words - and the thoughts and feelings behind them - can be evaluated, they have to be understood.

Some conversations will be spontaneous. But parents have lives, too. They can't reasonably be expected to instantly drop everything they are doing. Those goals may well be important to both them and the child, even though the child may not be able to grasp that.

Still it's important to both parent and child to be open to hearing the child when he or she has something to say. Too many 'tell me later' episodes will erode trust and the child's interest in communicating.

Fortunately, there are creative ways to deal with this dilemma.

For those old enough to do so, one method may involve having the child write out thoughts and feelings and place it in a cookie jar or send it via email. This should be reserved for those times when the parent is unavailable due to work and other important activities. It should not be a regular occurrence, lest it become a way of avoiding face-to-face communication.

However the listening is carried out, it's important to allow the child the freedom to express him or herself completely. Any subject or viewpoint should be allowed.

Once again, it isn't necessary to be morally or emotionally neutral to any and every statement. But children don't always have the moral knowledge or experience of adults. What an adult knows instantly to be wrong, a child must learn - preferably from an active listening adult.

Parenting - Through Then and Now

2007-12-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

In the past 40 years, roughly since the 1960s, parenting, along with dozens of other life issues has undergone a revolution in thinking. Traditional methods were questioned, in many cases rejected, and a spirit of experimentation resulted in the adoption of many alternatives.

Many people during the 1960s began to believe that the restrictive, almost Victorian parenting styles of earlier generations were unsuited to a modern society. Many converging views led to that conclusion, including Dr. Spock's books and those of other influential child psychologists.

The results of those 'experiments' has now been observed for the past 10-20 years and after a generation of experimentation, some have come to believe that the traditional ways were not so far off after all. The pendulum has begun to swing back to more traditional views of parenting.

But are those the only alternatives? Are the only possibilities a harsh and unreasonable discipline versus a soft and mindless lack of discipline? Many contemporary psychologists envision a third way.

Parenting is an enormously complex undertaking, requiring huge amounts of patience, struggle (both emotional and financial) and a long-term commitment. But that effort can be made much simpler by some relatively simple observations about human nature.

The first thing that will strike any parent is the unabashed joy that a child takes in exploring the world around him or her. Babies are fascinated by sights, sounds, movement and a variety of sensations. As the child matures, asking questions becomes a virtual mania, at least for a few years.

If a parent responds with enthusiasm to those early gropings, they are recognizing and supporting the fundamental attribute that young humans are using: curiosity. But, curiosity is another way of saying that the child is seeking to use his or her mind to understand and deal with the world.

Developing that faculty provides the foundation for other essential aspects of the child's personality, including self-esteem, empathy, enjoyment of life and other positive characteristics.

To develop a healthy self-esteem, it's necessary to feel that one can understand and deal with the challenges life brings, even to the young. To deal with others fairly, and to empathize with their circumstances and reactions, the child has to be able to understand what it's like to 'walk in their shoes'. To enjoy life, the young person - just as do adults - has to be comfortable with their ability to achieve the values - both material and spiritual - essential to a successful life.

Parents can help in that effort by leaving open all the options that modern society can offer an individual. There is no need to return to the socially restrictive views of a hundred years ago, with its conformity, rigidity and frequent disapproval of individual choice.

But neither do parents need to succumb to moral anarchy or relativism and regard all options as equally valid. Human nature is not infinitely plastic and the demands of the real world will require facing facts.

The third way can represent the best chance a developing individual has for a positive life.

Parenting is the World's Toughest Job

2007-12-09T10:43:00.001-08:00

If you ask around what is the hardest job in the world, I bet most of the answers would be, parenting. The process lasts longer and need more attention than any careers that ever existed combined. It requires a larger investment, in time and money than just about any other activity. There are a lot of complex choices to make and the outcome is more uncertain. Greater patience is needed and the roller coaster of emotions steeper than any other undertaking.

Parents have to learn, virtually from scratch, a range of new skills and they have to get it as close to right as possible even for their first time. Relatively simple diaper changing rapidly gives way to complex medical conundrums. Educating a child, both intellectually and ethically, not to mention choosing among formal education alternative, is a serious and difficult process.

Dealing with divorce and single-parenthood, safety, emotional well-being and a spectrum of practical and value situations can tax the best parents. These, and many more situations, often offer puzzles to solve that have inherently mixed practical, psychological and ethical dimensions.

Mix in the elements of grandparents, media reports and 'expert advice', educators' views, other children and many other outside influences - both on the parents and the child - and you have one hellishly difficult stew to filter.

Parents who successfully negotiate the maze often have some basic characteristics in common.

Parents with the ability to view life's challenges with a sense of confidence and resiliency go a long way toward instilling those characteristics in their children. Those who show respect toward spouses and their children help grow that quality in the child in two ways. It helps grow self-respect in the child and leads the child to a proper respect for the rights and value of others.

Parents who early on demonstrate a sense of fair play when deciding among competing claims give children a good foundation in many ways. The child benefits from the justice shown toward their valid concerns, while at the same time getting the proper view that becomes valuable in later life.

Along with these values, parents who demonstrate the willingness to devote time to listening and sharing experiences establish a foundation of life-long trust and love.

Life doesn't always reward good behavior. But, fortunately, all the effort made to be a good parent pays off in a hundred ways. Raising children well is a tremendous source of pride and joy, and rightly so. Helping provide the skills - intellectual, emotional, ethical and social - needed to thrive in an increasingly complex society rewards parents many times over.

Parents are right to enjoy both the practical results of their efforts and the deep emotional satisfaction that comes from the process and the outcome. Few 'careers' consistently offer such high dividends for a 'job well done'.

What Is an Ultrasound Test?

2007-12-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

There are all kind of tests out there that an expectant mother can have performed to gain information about the health of her growing fetus. Some, like amniocentesis, have been around for over 100 years. Ultrasound was introduced in the 1960s, though the early tests had limited value. Modern tests are much clearer, some even in 3D showing many kind of motions and how your baby really look like.

Today, ultrasound is clear, simple, and inexpensive. Most are even covered by standard insurance plans that covers pregnancy.

Also called sonography or just 'a scan', the woman's abdominal area is exposed to harmless ultra-high frequency sound waves. The echoes are then recorded and interpreted by a computer program which then projected onto a screen. The basic principle is similar to those that been used in fishing boats and submarines.

Unlike X-rays ultrasound do not produces ionizing radiation, though the sound waves still carry energy. Nevertheless, the procedure is safe and painless. It also has an added advantage which is the ability to examine soft tissues that don't show up as clearly in x-rays, and the images are displayed in real-time. Since there are no ill-effects produced by the test, it can be repeated as often as desired as the fetus develops.

Your physician will use a small, hand-held wand that travels over the surface of your skin. A clear gel is applied to the skin beforehand to eliminate air between the wand and the surface, producing better results. Unlike amniocentesis and other tests, it's non-invasive and the preliminary results are available immediately. It takes no more than half an hour!

More extensive analysis of the results can be performed by a trained specialist, if desired. A report is typically sent to your physician. From the results, doctors can detect physical abnormalities, tissue rupture, bleeding or simply whether problem implantation has occurred.

But apart from detecting potential problems, the test is used to provide useful information. It can reveal sex and age and record at the development process. It can also show the physical location of the baby within the womb. That helps determine if a breech birth is likely and other potential positioning issues. With that advanced look, delivery can be better planned.

The procedure has limitations, however. Ultrasound waves, unlike regular sound waves, don't travel as efficiently through air. As a result, any areas where air pockets exist - such as the stomach itself - won't yield as much information. Also, they don't penetrate bone as well as x-rays and the waves are dampened as they pass through fatty tissue. The results may be less useful for obese women.

Those limitations can be overcome by supplementing ultrasound with other tests, such as amniocentesis and others that use chemical indicators to give useful data about the baby's health.

What to Expect During Delivery?

2007-12-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

Once the first stage of labor is passed, the placental sac has broken, the cervix has dilated and contractions are regular and frequent, the second stage of labor - actual delivery - begins. Of course, there's no bright line dividing the first from the second. Where one leaves off and the other begins will vary from woman to woman and birth to birth.

There's a wide variation among women in many aspects of the process. The length of time is different for everyone and from child to child. The amount of pain differs. And the post-birth consequences will vary for each individual person and baby. In 75% of women who carry to term, delivery is within 12 hours. Only 2% will be in labor for more than 24 hours.

During the active delivery phase contractions are frequent, though there are breaks in between. Here that training you spent so many hours to practice kicks in. Proper breathing technique differs between the resting phase and the contraction and pushing phase. Use both.

Drugs are an option but both mothers and physicians try to keep them to a minimum. Anything the mother receives still makes its way into the child. Pain medication crosses the placenta and can slow the baby's heart rate and make breathing sluggish.

Analgesics are enough for most women, but they can produce side effects such as rapid heartbeat or nausea. A regional block may be appropriate for some women. This can offer pain relief without interfering with the ability to push, but it's not for everyone. Hot pads, ice packs and a hand to hold can often substitute for the time needed to get through the toughest phases.

Develop a plan with your physician well in advance to cover all the possibilities.

Transition is the interval during which the cervix dilates the final two centimeters (about an inch). It produces the most intense and frequent contractions, but may last only a few minutes. Rarely is it longer than an hour. Here again, breathing techniques and a good partner are great aids to staying focused and minimizing pain.

Deep breaths are best for those resting periods, short and sharp ones for the period of active pushing. Shallow chest breathing is best for the most intense contractions. This helps keep the blood well oxygenated and the mother focused as well as possible on something other than the pain.

When the widest part of the baby's head has moved into the birth canal, the second stage has begun in earnest. Contractions slow to four or five minutes apart. When the head is even with the lower pelvic bones, it's said to be at '0' station. It will progress through 1, 2, 3, and so on, measured by the baby's exit.

The excitement rises as the baby becomes clearly visible. Tiring by this time is normal, but adrenaline helps keep most mothers at it during this final stage. Then, a baby will arrive!

What to Expect During Your First Stage of Labor?

2007-12-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

Once labor begins, you'll need to prepare yourself mentally for the day. For some women, especially after a first child, this is a very easy task. For others, anxiety builds and builds. The best way to relieve that tension is to find out what to expect on that golden day.

During labor the cervix will dilate to about 4 cm (1.5 in) and contractions begin lasting 30 to 60 seconds about five minutes apart. This stage can last anywhere from a couple of hours to all day, so be prepared to go a little hungry. Eating during this time is not recommended.

The baby's head is waiting at the inner end of the cervix.

As labor progresses, cervical dilation will increase from 4 cm to about 8 cm (3 in) and the contractions will come quicker, about two minutes apart. Time to kick into mental gear and make use of that training you spent so much time to acquire and practice. Breathing properly will help oxygenate your tissues and minimize pain.

The baby's head, assuming a 'normal' (not breech) birth, moves forward toward the birth canal.

At the hospital, you may feel cold. That's probably not just because they keep the place well air conditioned and you are in a flimsy gown. Hormone changes can also produce this. It's normal. Don't worry about a sense of loss of control. You've got plenty of people to help you and you are the center of attention.

Your physician will check your status, along with that of your baby. They'll examine heart rate, and ensure that everything is positioned normally. Hospitals will often use some form of electronic FHR (fetal heart rate) monitoring for half an hour after you're admitted. They're looking for a baseline to measure against changes that will come soon.

If your membranes have ruptured, they may choose instead to monitor internally. If so, they'll insert a small electrode through the vagina. They may also insert a catheter in the uterus to measure contractions. Not to worry! It's safe for you and your baby.

Continuous monitoring is necessary only in those rare cases where there's a problem. Discuss with your physician in advance of labor about removing the devices as soon as possible to maximize your comfort.

Now your baby moves into position and your abdomen 'drops'. This is sometimes called 'lightening', since you feel lighter. The baby has moved away from the diaphragm, which makes breathing easier. Your doctor may report that you are '100% effaced', which means your cervix has dilated to about 10 cm (4 in). Contractions are longer and coming rapidly now, almost together.

Time to get ready to push!

Baron Trump, Ladies and Gentlemen!

2007-12-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

My dad is a millionaire and my mom is a model, and what does that make me? Lucky!

Here I want to share a picture of baby Baron and mommy going out in style. He turned one on 20th March ago. Growing up so fast, eh? Look at that blue eyes! Isn't he cute? I just love the suit.

Milla Jovovich Gave Birth to a Baby Girl!

2007-12-05T01:16:00.001-08:00

Milla Jovovich and her fiancé welcomed their beautiful daughter baby Ever Gabo J. Anderson on 3rd November 2007. There's a story behind that unique name of hers, you know. Here is a message from Milla Jovovich herself that she posted in here website, explaining what the name means..

"hey everyone! just a brief message to let you know that we have the most gorgeous little baby girl! her name is Ever Gabo J. Anderson and she was 7 pounds 8 ounces when she was born! the name Ever is a scottish boy's name, Paul has scottish blood in him (not to mention two tartans in his family!) so we wanted to give her a name that reflected her "celtic" roots, while her middle name Gabo -pronounced "Gabeau"- is a mixture of my parents names! the first two letters are after my mom's first name, Galina and the last two letters are after my dad's first name Bogie! we just got home from the hospital with her yesterday, so when i get a bit more settled i will write everyone to let you know about the whole experience! thanks again for all your support and beautiful wishes!"

Welcome baby Ever! And we wish you all the best Milla!

Look out for these danger signs during your pregnancy

2007-12-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

Pregnancy can be uncomfortable in many ways throughout the nine months period. But some aspects are within normal range, others can signal serious issues. Only your physician can provide you with definitive answers, but knowing some of the common risk signals can help mothers decide whether to seek professional advice. Always err on the side of caution.

About two weeks after the first missed period, about half of pregnant women experience nausea. It can occur once per day or almost all day and persists (for some) throughout the first trimester. That can make it difficult to decide when a stomach condition is a serious problem, such as hypertension. Here again, err on the side of caution. Better to appear weak in the eyes of some than to risk the health of your baby.

Severe pelvic or abdominal pain goes beyond what might accompany gastrointestinal upset. In the early months of pregnancy, it may be a sign of a tubal pregnancy. A 'tubal' is a condition in which the fertilized ovum attaches to the fallopian tube rather than further down, in the uterus. Later on, it may signal that the placenta has separated from the uterus.

If you experience this kind of pain, seek attention right away. Only a medical professional can provide the diagnostic experience and tools to get an objective answer. They won't always know with certainty, but your odds are better with them. Don't rely on 'old wives tales'.

Mild fever can occur in pregnancy as it can at any other time. But if the fever rises above 100F (37.8C) it's time to seek attention. Infection or viral illness can cause premature labor and a high fever can put your baby at risk. Don't panic, just get yourself on the phone and discuss the situation with your physician.

Severe headache, swollen eyes or face or blurred vision can be an indicator of toxemia. This occurs when toxic substances are present in the blood stream. Apart from the discomfort, they may well be relatively harmless. The condition may be due to eclampsia, the result of hypertension. The only way to tell is to be tested. Other symptoms include flashing lights in front of the eyes and sharp pains under the rib cage.

After about four to five months, movement from the developing fetus should be common, occurring a few times every hour. Mothers are readily aware of these movements. Any substantial reduction in frequency or persistent lack of movement should be discussed with your doctor. Fetal distress is one possibility, but a correct diagnosis can only be supplied by a professional.

Any kind of vaginal discharge or bleeding should be checked right away, especially if it occurs more than two weeks prior to the due date. After that time, fluid leak may be a sign that your 'water has broken', but have it checked anyway. Any sign of bleeding suggests the possibility that the sac has separated from the uterus. This should be dealt with immediately.

Don't worry about being overly cautious where your and your growing baby's health is concerned. Most issues can be addressed with no long lasting effects if dealt with early.

Dealing With Labour Pain

2007-12-02T02:13:00.000-08:00

Mothers report that few things are as painful, or as rewarding, as giving birth. How much pain, for how long and when varies enormously among individual women. But expectant women, especially when giving birth the first time, may want less pain in order to better enjoy the reward. For them, there are many choices.

Most experts and women agree that the less medication taken or anesthesia given the better, both for mother and child. When used the amounts are so low that problems are very rare, but anything that enters a woman's bloodstream will affect the child during delivery. Training can help minimize the need.

Preparation well before the onset of labor is the first step. Lamaze or Bradley training is helpful, in order to learn good breathing and relaxation techniques. It's difficult to focus on the process rather than the pain when you're in the moment, but training can get her part way there. Attending with a partner is particularly helpful.

Some training involves learning focusing techniques - zeroing in on the need to push or the progress, rather than the discomfort. Others may emphasize distraction - counting, remembering a specific event clearly and so on. Those who have practiced yoga may find many of the ideas familiar. Several weeks practice before labor begins is a minimum, but there should be no substantial gap in time. Train up to the day.

Physical comfort can be enhanced by a variety of methods. Hot or cold packs can ease cramping. Sipping warm tea or ice water is sometimes helpful. That will need to be kept to a minimum, though. If general anesthesia has to be given, doctors will require minimal liquid intake beforehand. Anesthesia can produce nausea and vomiting. Disgorging under anesthetic is potentially dangerous, since it can lead to choking.

Some hospitals will use tubs of water or even showers to maximize physical and mental comfort during labor. A good soak can ease back tension and aid a sense of well being. Techniques like these don't require any training or practice, just the ability to remember to use them when needed. A partner can help here, too.

Adjust your body as needed during the process. Talk over with your physician in advance his or her working needs and your options. Working together during the process is less stressful if things have been talked out ahead of time.

Still, there are women who experience great pain during birth, and it can vary from one delivery to the next. For those women, a range of medical options are available.

A general pain medication can range from over-the-counter remedies to mild narcotics. It's important to be able to focus and participate during the process, so doctors keep the dosage to a minimum whenever possible. Stronger narcotics to ease pain can be used if necessary.

Local anesthetic is no longer an automatic choice. Studies revolving around the neurological effects on the baby have made doctors and mothers very conservative. But the types and dosages used very rarely present a problem. There's no such thing as zero risk, but the odds are so low that this is a valid option.

A regional block, epidural or spinal, refers not to specific medication but simply the way it's administered. The drug is injected into a space at the base of the spinal column. The purpose is the same: to numb pain in the vaginal and back areas where the pain is most intense. Here again, doctors are cautious but the option is still used safely in thousands of cases every year.

Explore your options well in advance so that on that golden day you can put your mind where it needs to be: delivering a healthy baby.

How to deal with your body changes emotionally?

2007-11-30T06:53:00.001-08:00

Pregnancy involves a range of issues, both physiological and emotional. Though complex, dealing with physical issues is very well understood. There are hormonal changes that have been thoroughly studied and medical technology is up to the task of maximizing the odds of a good outcome. Dealing with the psychological issues is less straight forward, but just as important.

One of those results from the simple and obvious physical change - a woman's body becomes larger and rounded as the baby increases in size. Weight gain and the space occupied produce a familiar shape. Attitudes over the centuries have evolved, with contemporary views very mixed.

Among some, that change is celebrated, even venerated. It's taken as a sign of life, something to be cheered. Unfortunately, others may - while recognizing its inevitability - regard that change as, at best, a 'necessary evil' of sorts.

The problem, when it is a problem, can be increased - often unwittingly - when a partner makes comments that are interpreted negatively. Sometimes those are interpreted accurately, other times they may be distortions exaggerated by natural hormonal changes. In either case, thinking about attitudes can help one approach the issue more rationally. Knowing what to expect and thinking about possible strategies for addressing it is half the battle.

In general, women with a positive self-image before pregnancy will retain it throughout. But weaknesses in self-esteem, basing it on the wrong foundation, can be exposed during times of radical change, such as pregnancy. That is often found where a woman has attached significance to her appearance to the point of resting her self-esteem on her looks. As those looks change, self-esteem can be affected.

One way to deal with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with changing hormones, restricted physical capacity and a changing body shape is to focus firmly on the positive.

Most mothers report a sense of awe when babies start to move, and rightly so. Reproduction is one of the most astounding facts of human existence. The movement and sounds that fetuses generate are signs of a healthy new life coming into being. Being fully conscious of those events provides opportunities to put marks on the 'great!' side of the ledger. That helps balance out the 'not so great' side.

Another helpful technique, one oriented toward dealing with remarks from others, involves taking them in context. An old saying is 'consider the source', and it contains wisdom. If a machine were to make a rude comment, anyone would dismiss it. When faced with comments made by some people, the same response is warranted. In other cases, it's beneficial to regard some as well-meaning, if perhaps ill-educated. It doesn't pay to put too much weight on comments from such people or events.

In the final analysis, a pregnant woman is creating a new life through a process that is sometimes difficult at best. Focusing on the outcome, recognizing that even the unpleasant aspects are short-lived and retaining awareness of solid values will maximize the positive aspects of the experience.

Changes during pregnancy

2007-11-27T06:24:00.000-08:00

Pregnancy presents a time of big changes in every dimension. There's the obvious weight gain and changing shape. Over time, it will be more difficult to maintain a regular exercise regimen of the same type as before pregnancy. Less obvious changes are taking place, too. Estrogen and progesterone levels are increasing. All those, and many more, carry both physical challenges and emotional implications. And, all this at a time when expenses are going up.

Faced with all this, women have a right to be disgruntled. But many women report that being pregnant is (or was) the best time of their lives. They have many resources that can be used to lighten any burdens and others to help them celebrate the fact.

For those who want to become pregnant, but haven't yet achieved their goal, there have been great advances in fertility treatments. The knowledge of the risks of those treatments has improved along with the treatments themselves.

Home pregnancy tests allow women now to predict early, and with great reliability, whether or not they are really pregnant in the first place. Several of the leading manufacturers offer tests that are now easier to read (and harder to mis-read). They have tests that are now so sensitive that some women will need to exercise prudence in using them too early, to avoid false positives.

Once pregnancy is confirmed, choosing the right physician and hospital becomes a big concern. But there are so many channels of information today that the choice is made much easier than ever before. Personal recommendation is still hugely important. But the Internet has made finding out information about who is good and who isn't (and what 'good' really means) simple.

Some women choose to forego a regular physician, at least for delivery, and select a midwife instead. These are no longer the wise village elder woman, but trained professionals with close relations with a licensed OB/GYN (OBstetrics and GYNaecology). They have the experience and training to assist in a birth, and often the time to devote exclusive attention to a woman on that critical day.

Women will want to pay close attention to developing a good exercise and nutrition plan during the time of these changes. Maintaining optimal health for both mother and baby is a natural goal. Here again, the information available is top-notch and plentiful. As always, a critical eye is helpful to sort the wheat from the chaff, but there's plenty of wheat around.

An expectant mother will want to plan her pregnancy carefully, including (and especially) that final phase - labor and delivery. She'll want to investigate Lamaze or other training courses. Pain control options, whether to use anesthesia or have a Caesarean, and other issues can be complex. But taking the time to carefully weigh the pros and cons will be high on anyone's list.

Getting information about possible danger signs such as vaginal bleeding, severe cramps and other not-so-common, but still possible, events is a good thing to do. Forewarned is forearmed. With adequate knowledge, most things can be treated to keep potentially serious problems down to minor annoyances.

It sounds like a big course of study - and it is. But mothers have a big incentive to dig in to find the resources they need to handle these big changes. Then, they can start in anew to learn all about parenting.

Life is change. Some are bigger than others.

What should you do when "that" pain comes

2007-11-27T06:13:00.000-08:00

It can be difficult to know exactly when labor begins in earnest. But some signs are unmistakable. One such occurs when your new baby's head exerts pressure on the amniotic sac and it breaks. When your 'water breaks' (the liquid isn't just water, but amniotic fluid), labor is imminent.

Unfortunately, 'imminent' doesn't mean 'will occur within 10.5 hours' or any exact amount of time. The time to the beginning of regular contractions and actual delivery, can vary enormously from woman to woman and even child to child.

Nevertheless, when you feel that trickle or gush of colorless fluid flow down your leg, it's time to get ready. On average, labor will begin within 12 to 24 hours later. For some, the time is much sooner.

Note the time, wipe away the fluid and clean the vagina to minimize the risk of infection. Don't bathe. Look for any green or brownish fluid, the meconium, which is from your baby's bowel movement. That's an indicator of fetal stress and should be reported to your physician immediately.

Contractions will follow shortly.

The uterus is a muscle and one of its roles is to force the baby out into the world through the birth canal. The contractions you feel are that muscle tensing. They will usually be preceded by dull cramps in the lower back or pelvis. When they happen regularly for an hour, lasting at least 30 seconds each, gaining in intensity, actual labor has started.

Since they can vary from woman to woman, try to verify that the contractions are labor by varying your position. Move around and sit. See if they still occur. Remember to keep a close eye on the clock or your watch. Timing the events is important.

First pregnancies will often take a little longer, so try to avoid any sense of panic. When contractions are coming five minutes apart for an hour, it's time to head to the hospital. Err on the side of caution, though. The number is just an average and it's best to avoid complications by being too early, rather than too late.

Severe pain, rather than regular (even if uncomfortable) contractions can be a sign of placenta previa. This is a condition in which the placenta can block the exit from the uterus. Or, the pain can be the result of placental abruption, where the placenta separates but limits the baby's oxygen supply. Call your doctor.

Almost all labors proceed without incident. Stay calm, execute your plan and get ready for a healthy baby.

Options for Delivering Your Baby

2007-11-25T00:03:00.000-08:00

Some women understandably wish from time to time that a baby could be delivered by Fed Ex. After nine months of hormonal changes, carrying extra weight and reduced movement many will want to just get it over. But the race is won at the final leg and Lamaze, Bradley or other options can help carry you over to the finish line in optimal shape.

Women, obviously, have been giving birth for hundreds of thousands of years. The basic process has changed little over that time. But medical knowledge has grown by leaps and bounds.

During the mid-19th century that knowledge consisted of a growing set of tools and drugs to minimize pain. By the mid-20th century, though, birth was almost something that happened to a woman and her baby, rather than something they did. Contemporary knowledge can help the expectant mother take more active control of her birth and deliver with the highest chances for her baby's health.

The Bradley method was devised by Dr. Robert Bradley in the 1940s. The emphasis was, and is, on a set of techniques to deliver without the use of drugs. There are pros and cons to the approach, since anything a mother receives will affect the baby. With the drugs designed today, and the dosages low enough, the odds of harm are very low. Completely drug-free births are not entirely without risks either.

The uncontroversial aspect of the Bradley method is its use of breathing techniques that aid the woman during periods of non-contraction. Relaxation techniques are helpful at those moments to prepare for more active moments. The deep breathing taught in Bradley classes is a positive benefit.

Lamaze has its own proponents and detractors, and more similar reasons. Developed by a French physician and popularized in the 1960s, it too emphasizes 'natural' childbirth. It discourages use of pain control drugs, in favor of hot and cold packs, positioning and breath control.

The Lamaze breathing techniques, like Bradley, are helpful - more so during the more active parts of delivery. The rapid, in-out-in intake of air helps fully oxygenate tissues and control pain. The focus required to maintain that breathing, while also focusing on the need to push in the proper way helps keep the mother's mind off the pain and onto the process.

Both Bradley and Lamaze classes emphasize the importance of having a birth partner to assist in delivery. That can be a friend, spouse or even a midwife. Having that person there is an emotional comfort. Either professionally, or thanks to the classes, they'll have an (at least theoretical) understanding of delivery. They help maintain focus, provide physical assistance in positioning and offer a friendly face in what might be an emotionally cold environment.

Mothers should consider carefully all their options. There's no need to rule out modern medical technology. Being aware of the risks and benefits of anesthetic and some of the common potential problems can help you prepare. The more information you have, the better you can rationally examine options ahead of time. That helps you make better decisions at a time when you have other things on your mind.

The Pros and Cons of Caesarean Childbirth

2007-11-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

Vaginal childbirth, in which the new baby emerges through the uterus and vaginal opening, has been the most common method of childbirth for millennia. But Caesarean sections which is delivery by creating an opening through the abdominal wall, has been used for centuries, too. But no matter how long each practice has been used, every new mother will wrestle with the same issues, both physical and emotional.

There are many factors involved in making the difficult decision between vaginal and Caesarean delivery.

The level of pain experienced isn't simply a matter of being 'tough' or committed to 'natural' childbirth. It can have an effect on the baby's well-being, too. Being in labor for hours on end, enduring painful contractions, carries risks. Stress produces hormones that the baby is exposed to, along with the mother. Contractions can produce harmful effects on the child and mother. Rectal tearing, in which the mother tears rectal tissue from straining, is a potential problem.

Vaginal childbirth carries other risks. Breech birth, wrapped umbilical cords and other conditions - while relatively less common - do occur. Breech, in which the baby's butt is toward the vaginal opening rather than its head, isn't the only other possible position. Intermediate positions happen as well. Tangled umbilical cords can strangle the newborn or cut off oxygen. Forceps deliveries and other techniques are sometimes required in such cases.

In some cases, the baby's head may be so large as to produce vaginal tearing, which extends recovery time. Or it may become lodged in the opening for extended periods, presenting a risk to the baby's life and the mother's well-being. Drugs may be needed to induce vaginal relaxation.

But Caesarean sections come with their own set of risks.

Cutting through the abdominal wall, along with the pelvic muscles and uterus constitutes major surgery. Though the procedure is less painful than vaginal birth, the recovery can be extended, especially since anesthesia is required in this case. A (usually subtle) scar is always produced, which some women may find unattractive or undesirable.

Any drugs used during delivery are taken up by the baby, since it shares fluid with the mother until after birth. Anesthesia, in rare cases, has caused neurological problems for newborns. These can be long lasting.

Almost all deliveries, both vaginal and Caesarean, occur without incident, producing a healthy child. There are rarely long-term negative impacts on mother or baby. But knowing the pros and cons of both methods can help expectant women make an informed choice.

Nutritional tips for a healthy pregnancy

2007-11-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

Any expectant mother will want first and foremost to optimize her health and that of her growing baby. Proper nutrition is a major key to that effort.

The amount of additional calorie intake that pregnant women need, may be a surprise. Only about 300 extra calories per day is recommended by experts. Much more than that can lead to excess weight gain, which is not healthy for mom or baby. An extra tuna fish sandwich or bagel with low-fat cream cheese can do the trick. Avoid the urge to indulge cravings.

Some of those calories should come from protein, about 60 grams total per day or about 10 grams per day more than non-pregnant women. Fish, chicken and lean meats are a good source, as are dried beans, nuts and cheese. About 1 1/2 ounces of meat contains 10 grams of protein.

A woman's calcium requirement goes up during pregnancy, as well. Non-pregnant women get only about 75% of the recommended amount anyway, so increasing it is a good idea for all. Milk, yogurt and cheese are common and healthy sources. Non-fat types can help keep caloric intake under control while still providing the needed calcium amount. Green leafy vegetables are another healthy way to get what you need.

Vitamin and mineral consumption should increase during pregnancy, but within moderation.

Vitamin D helps absorb calcium, so a daily supplement can be a good idea. As the blood volume increases with the advance of pregnancy, additional iron is needed. The daily recommended amount of iron doubles for pregnant women from 15 mg/day to 30 mg/day.

Red meat is a good source of iron, though fish and poultry are too. Many enriched cereals supply extra iron (and other needed vitamins), as do some breads. Eggs are good for a number of reasons, but they are not the best sources for iron. Increasing Vitamin C intake helps improve their efficiency.

Folic acid helps fetal development, but the amounts for pregnant women have sometimes been overstated. Some research suggests that excessive amounts can increase the risk of spina bifida and other neural defects. A regular, daily multivitamin with 600 micrograms per pill is recommended, about 200 micrograms more than the normal daily amount. Dark green leafy vegetables are a good source of natural folates, as are citrus fruits, peanuts and whole grains.

Vegetarian diets can supply all the needed nutrients, but obtaining them in the right form can be more difficult. Vegetarians will need to more closely monitor nutrient levels, but this is commonly a part of a vegetarian lifestyle already.

Naturally, any pregnant woman should consult her physician early on about dietary changes. He or she will need an accurate estimate of current diet and can supply science-based advice about proper nutrition. There are more myths and junk science surrounding diet than any other area. Get objective information for your health and that of your growing baby.

Nicole Richie is going to be a mom soon!

2007-11-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

From a wild party girl to a soon-to-be mommy! Who would have thought? But I think pregnancy does agree with her because she's looking hotter than ever. There she was, looking pregnant yet very stylish.

Choosing the right physician for your child birth

2007-11-12T06:15:00.000-08:00

Making the right choice of doctor to deliver your baby is one of the most worrisome things for any newly pregnant woman. But you can reduce that anxiety by dividing your questions into two sets. One list will involve objective factors, the other will cover issues that are not so easy to quantify.

You'll want to investigate some immediate practical matters, such as whether a physician you are considering is part of your insurance company's list. You'll want to find out whether the doctor has a good relationship with the hospital you intend to use and whether that hospital accepts the same insurance coverage. As part of that research, you'll want to find out whether billing, co-pay and other issues can be handled simply.

You'll want a doctor that is likely to be available when and as you need him or her. The best physician is of no use to you if they can't see you on short notice. Most pregnancies go from start to finish without a hitch, but when a doctor is needed, he or she is generally needed right away. If that person isn't available, they should have a backup you trust in emergency situations.

You should ask any physician you're considering how long they've been in practice, and what their C-section percentage is. Most are between 15-20%. This gives you some idea of their views on risk. You should ask also about their views on the use of anesthesia and other factors surrounding pain control.

Talking to nurses they've worked with (those at the hospital, not the ones employed by the doctor) is a good way to get some opinions. Be sure to ask more than one. Even the best physician won't necessarily be the favorite of every nurse.

You'll want to ensure that the physician you see regularly is the one who will deliver your baby. Avoiding surprises is near the top of any prospective mother's list and a doctor who knows your history personally is essential. And, you'll want to ensure that they will be present during the entire process. Doctors who flit in and out during labor don't inspire confidence during stressful times.

But there are other, less cut and dried topics that you'll want to explore, too.

It's not necessary that the physician be Mister Rogers and a friend to all womankind. But they should treat you with respect and show genuine concern for your welfare. They should be willing to answer questions without being patronizing. You should feel at ease talking to them. That helps build confidence in their medical judgment.

They should be honest with you, without being unfeeling. Given a choice, most mothers would naturally want someone with excellent medical skills. That's absolutely basic. But those skills can be exercised in many ways. Finding a physician that treats you as a complete person, not just a laboratory experiment to be properly completed, will put you more at ease.

Exploring a little bit about their general philosophy is not a bad idea. They don't have to share your religion, your political views or your beliefs in general. But knowing they are someone you can 'work with' on a nearly year-long effort with such a hugely important outcome will make things go much smoother for all concerned.

The role of the midwife

2007-11-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

For centuries giving birth was strictly an affair between the pregnant woman and a midwife. Though not always present, a mid-wife would frequently aid in the birthing process. The role was often performed by an older woman who had previously experienced birth herself. She gave comfort, medical knowledge based on real experience and a second pair of hands at a critical time.

With the rise of obstetrics in the 19th century, midwifery became much less common, almost disappearing from birthing practice in the U.S., except in circumstances of deep poverty or geographic isolation. In recent decades, it has risen again in a new form in which midwives are often licensed nurses with considerable traditional medical experience.

Though midwifing was historically carried out in the home, modern practitioners carry out their work in hospitals almost entirely today. Many women want to have the services of a midwife, but still avail themselves of the advantages of modern medicine in a traditional hospital setting.

In the overwhelming majority of births, the midwife has to take little active part in the process. She provides assurance, a hand to hold and 'insurance' in the form of letting the woman know that, should the need arise, an expert is at hand. But their presence and practice goes far beyond or rather before labor.

Midwives are available for pre-natal visits, and they offer one-on-one advice, much as an obstetrician will do - though frequently at lower rates. They are often there for much more of the time during the entire process, too, once labor starts. Many obstetricians have more patients than any single person can care for, even working 14 hour or longer days (as many of them do). A midwife can usually devote exclusive attention to a woman during labor.

They will be there at the beginning of the birthing process, continuously up to and after the completion of birth. Having a trusted and experienced medical expert at the bedside for the entire time is a great comfort to many. That's especially true for first time mothers, for whom the experience can be naturally a bit scary.

Midwives have the medical knowledge and the available technology to handle any situation. Breech births, preclampsia and other potential complications are nothing new to a good midwife. They can carry out needed tests - for iron levels, blood pressure and the like. And they can seek additional help, acting as an expert liaison when a woman may have other things on her mind. All midwives have an active working relationship with an obstetrician.

Midwives can be found through recommendations from friends or you can seek one by contacting the American College of Nurse Midwives in Washington, DC. The ACNM website (http://www.acnm.org/) is a good place to start your search.

Amniocentesis? What is that?

2007-11-12T06:11:00.000-08:00

Inside the uterus, surrounding your growing baby, is a liquid called 'amniotic fluid'. A long needle is inserted through the abdomen to extract a small sample of that fluid. Using it, doctors can perform tests that indicate potential problems and provide information about the health of the gestating fetus.

Test results typically arrive in a week or two and the test is sometimes referred to as an AFT (Amniotic Fluid Test).

Typically done around 15-20 weeks, an 'amnio' can examine possible genetic abnormalities, check for uterine infections, Rh (rhesus) sensitization and other possible problems. But it can be used as a general health check as well.

Only a small amount of fluid is withdrawn and is generally preceded by an ultrasound test. The fluid contains sloughed off skin and other cells from the developing fetus and these form the basis for part of the test.

Down syndrome is a rare condition, but amniotic fluid contains markers that can assist physicians in determining the odds that your child is affected. The test is about 99% accurate for Down's and is usually combined with an ultrasound and other tests.

Other genetic disorders - such as sickle cell anemia, Huntington's, Tay-Sachs or cystic fibrosis can all be diagnosed while the child is still in the womb. Only a small percentage of babies are afflicted with any of these conditions, but most women will want to perform this basic check.

Spina bifida is a neural condition that can lead to crippling and amniocentesis can test for this as well, along with other neural tube defects. Even among high risk women, the odds are less than 5% that a problem will be discovered. Still, some women choose to terminate a pregnancy if the condition is discovered.

As a side benefit of the genetic screening it's possible to determine the baby's sex, though ultrasound is the more common method now.

No single test is definitive, so women may want to consider multiple tests. Women 35 years or older are at higher risk of producing infants with some of the disorders discussed above. Combining amniocentesis with ultrasound or multiple marker tests can bring peace of mind.

Along with that peace of mind getting tested has other benefits. Certain in utero deficiencies can be treated to resolve problems before they become a major issue.

The test does have some minor risks of its own, however, and this should be borne in mind. Miscarriages can be induced by amniocentesis, for example. Great care is taken to ensure that the needle doesn't puncture the baby. But, there is a small chance (about 1 in 1000) that the test will produce an uterine infection.

Few women experience any pain from the procedure, with about 1% having spotting or fluid leaking after the test. Avoiding stresses such as lifting or prolonged standing after the procedure can reduce the odds of any problems.

Common gastrointestinal complaints during pregnancy

2007-11-12T06:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone is familiar with the nausea and other conditions that sometimes accompany pregnancy. How common are they, and is there anything an expectant mom can do to relieve them?

Early pregnancy nausea and vomiting occurs in about half of pregnant women, beginning about two weeks after the first missed period. This lasts usually no longer than the first trimester, but that can feel like a very long time under these circumstances.

Mild nausea is common, but any extreme condition may be a sign of hyperemesis gravidarum. That can lead to dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. Discuss the possibility with your physician so you can be tested, if needed. Late pregnancy nausea can occur as well, from twisted or obstructed bowels.

Eating small, frequent meals is preferable to larger ones three times per day. Certain fruits can help, such as berries, peaches and cantaloupe. Taking needed liquids between, rather than with, meals is helpful. That will produce less stomach expansion. Avoid carbonated drinks.

Heartburn is another common condition. As a result of hormonal and other changes, the odds of experiencing it are higher during pregnancy. Increased levels of progesterone are thought to be a prime culprit, since it causes loosening of the sphincter, driving acid up into the esophagus. It also slows the emptying of stomach contents, which can be a contributing factor.

Changes in nutrition can help alleviate the problem. Avoid high fat foods, chocolate (yes, that's a tough one to give up) and fried foods. Foods high in raffinose, such as cabbage, broccoli and lettuce should be reduced as they tend to produce gas. Cutting down on caffeine and alcohol and quiting smoking are essential lifestyle changes, at least for the duration.

Common antacids, such as TUMS (also a good source of calcium) are a good idea. Not only is the material helpful, but sucking on them contracts the esophagus, which helps reduce the problem.

Constipation is a common problem, both during and immediately after pregnancy. Medically, constipation is defined as an inability to move the bowels more than three times per week. But most women will regard themselves as constipated if they can't eliminate at least once per day.

The condition can occur from many causes, including psychological ones. If rectal tearing occurred during delivery as a result of straining, the rectum takes a while to heal. Women, many unconsciously, try to hold stool to avoid the pain of defecation. After a C-section the bowel can be temporarily paralyzed, a condition called an 'ileus'.

Walking can help relieve symptoms, since it often eases tension and loosens the bowels. Drinking the right kinds and amounts of fluid will also help. Some vitamin and mineral supplements can be beneficial, such as extra, easily digested calcium. Commercial laxatives should be avoided, but there are special types that physicians sometimes prescribe, such as Docusate.

Eat right, engage in a regular, appropriate exercise program and your difficulties can be minimized.

Using the Home Pregnancy Test

2007-11-12T00:04:00.000-08:00

In days past it would often take weeks to get the results of a pregnancy test, after a visit to your doctor. Today, you can have the answer in minutes.

Home pregnancy tests work much the same way as those carried out by professional labs. Both test for the presence and level of a hormone called hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) in blood or urine. Blood samples are considered more reliable, but certainly less pleasant, particularly for home tests. Most of them test urine.

Two criteria chiefly determine the worth of a home pregnancy test: readability and sensitivity.

Readability is partly a subjective issue, though some tests are definitely easier to interpret than others. Some show you a number, others match a color strip against a stated result. Many these days just say 'Pregnant' or 'Not Pregnant' in some form. Which you choose depends largely on personal taste.

The time to get a result is no longer a factor. In fact, if you wait too long to read the results the indicator becomes unreliable. Also, contemporary over-the-counter products from any major manufacturer are reliable. False negatives and false positives aren't completely absent, but they affect fewer than 5% of cases.

One major component of that reliability score lies as much in the two criteria as in the quality of the test. As tests have become more and more sensitive, the level of false positives has a tendency to go up. For example, women who have recently given birth or miscarried may have elevated levels of hCG present even when they are not pregnant. Certain medications can increase the level as well.

As a result, tests which measure low levels can give a misleading result. Keep in mind that no HPT (Home Pregnancy Test) measures pregnancy directly. The only way to do that is to actually examine the implantation of the fertilized egg into the womb, a procedure that (so far) can't be carried out at home. So, an indicator is measured as a proxy and that indicator can be high for other reasons, such as those above.

Some HPTs can measure hCG levels as low as 25 mIU/ml (milli International Units per milliliter). The abbreviated unit after the number is complicated, but not important to the home consumer. Just look at the sensitivity rating of the test and compare. In order to reduce false positives, tests can be designed not to give a 'Pregnant' indication until higher levels are reached. Many measure levels at 50 mIU/ml or even at or above 100 mIU/ml.

But raising those levels to be less sensitive means introducing two potential problems.

One, if the test detects hCG only at higher levels, you have to be pregnant longer before the body builds up to that level. That reduces the value of a home test, many of which are labeled EPT (EARLY Pregnancy Test) for a reason. The other potential problem is closely related. It can introduce false negatives, you really are pregnant, but the test tells you that you're not.

For most women, these issues are not major. A home pregnancy test is a great convenience, but once you get a positive result it should be followed up with another from your physician. Also, many HPTs come with multiple strips. Test once, then test again a week later. If you get the same result, the odds are much higher that the test is valid.

Follow the instructions carefully and you can be confident that the test is telling you the truth, in 95% or more of cases. Those are pretty good odds, all things considered.